R U M I N A T I O N S

Dear blog, It’s been a long gap and why? I had no stuff to ponder upon apart from all my negativities. Great! I guess for now I am away from all that. I just don’t want to give importance to self doubts; they can wait for the time being. Let us get going with the good stuff! Wohoo! It’s been raining incessantly since morning and the sound of rain drops splattering on the roof is music to ears. Very often, this sound gets drowned in daily melancholy and we miss out on it. We are so tangled up with our non-sense chain of thoughts that we are unable to savor nature’s nectars. Freshly polished leaves glisten in the sun’s light. The mischievous mind starts racing again. Here, there and everywhere. I think our thoughts can easily surpass the speed of light, be it in air or vacuum. What an efficient factory our mind is! There are visions, impulsive cravings, positive, stable and negative notions. Cravings and visions inspire our actions. Actions in turn trigger reactions. Reactions fuel more...

Dear Blog Look at me! Waves of restlessness are creating havoc in mind’s abode, trembling hands, sleep disturbed by persistent nightmares and a void created by an asteroid called “ennui”. Ain’t I sick? No I’d like to believe. I am cool, mast and bindaas. I know I’ll somehow manage to sail through this storm and hit the shore. Everyone is doing it and I am equally capable. However, the BIG QUESTION is am I hitting the right shore? I don’t know whether it’s too late or too early to ask this question. They say everything in life happens for good and I realize that somewhere down the line I am living the kind of life that I had visualized years back. I somehow knew that I would eventually end up in this field and would be doing this kind of work. But now, at this stage, I apprehend that I don’t want to be doing this forever. This is not aligned with my current vision. N number of years later I see myself as a contended person, done with all my whims and fancies, sipping in the scenic beaut...

Allah,I seek refuge from my alter ego. She bullies me, mocks my beliefs and jeers my hopes. I avow “This is not me”; “I am you dear, no running away from me. I am your present, past and future”. I conjecture she’s going to be my companion throughout my life span. So I better be on good terms with her rather than brood over her presence. It’s not that I detest her. She’s follows me everywhere, I walk she walks behind me, I stop she stops. She is here there and everywhere in my being. Indulgence is her forte. She pampers me like a queen and makes me believe that “I am special”. However, when clocks tick tocks in darker milieus she vanishes in thin air.”O dearest form! Whither thou escapeth?” I wish to seek solace, yet she’s nowhere to be found. With a limp walk I tread on the highway of broken hopes and daunting dreams. I turn back, no traces of her. It’s a moonless night. Howling wolves send jitters down my spine. I pause for a moment and go on. A bright sunny morning greets me. I turn...

Hahahahahaha...what’s with me today? I can’t stop chuckling since morning. Hahahahhahaha...there I go again. The alcoholic monsoon season has intoxicated me. Perhaps my desire has come true :P Last to last week I had naively asked a friend to get me wings from his spiritual trip. Ain’t I crazy? How can a human being fly! Yet I wanted to and I think am flying today. Realllllyyyyyyyyy high up above…not literally yet but that’s how am feeling today. Hahahahhahahaha...am Mad! Wild and what not! And no I haven’t had Red Bull. These wings have evolved naturally. Thank you Veenu :) You fulfilled your promise. I pestered for wings like one idiotic woman that day…unbelievable! And man, today it feels as if I have got those. Blog, however weird and foolish your desires are, don’t sweep them away in a corner. I want to fly and shit on my superior’s shoulder and manager’s eyes...hahahahahahah wouldn’t that be awesome! Sheesh I don’t want to think about those two and spoil the party. Know what! Wan...

Ahh…The Grand Indian Wedding season is back with a bang! Sheesh…and everyone around me is crazy about it. Crazy about being hitched as well as attending the dos. Wow! What’s with me? Am I the only psycho who gets paranoid when it comes to attending a shaadi ? It all began last weekend. I saw an invitation card that read 29th May 2010. My first thought was like “Who cares? I don’t even know the groom”. I made it clear to my folks, am not attending this one. I successfully dodged the engagement night. PROUD OF THAT :) Had fun with my buddy at home sweet home. We started planning a weekend trip to some nearby place. That ways, I wouldn’t have to bother about attending the ceremony. And luckily both of us had got a green signal from our respective folks; though with Conditions apply tag. We made our best efforts to convince parties to join us but I guess whatever is destined to happen, happens. It was written in Black letters “Monica will be attending the Shaadi”. And I was trying my best...

Wow! What a relaxing night…simply lying down, no blues to bother me. Feels divine: D Perhaps a friend’s exuberant air has infected me too and I am not complaining. A nostalgic sentiment is sprouting within me yet again. The last examination has aroused the dormant sentimental seeds . Seeds which were rendered inert by the daily hustle bustle and emotional torrents. Words dodge me…“O Evil mind! Quit playing hide and seek”. I marvel at my college days. Those “Hard on ass” wooden benches (Ouch!) can’t replace the cushioned comfort of ergonomic chairs but I am longing to sit on those benches yet again. The centrally air conditioned environs can’t pacify the ruffled feathers within. I was better off in the humid classroom. All these thoughts bring about a subtle smile on my face. Thanks to DIAS, I have a fantastic circle of friends. Each one is extraordinary in his or her own way. I feel I am a different person today, a better version of my previous self. The way all pieces of the puzzle ...

Greatest is the man who knows himself inside out. I was under the wrong impression that I knew myself pretty well until yesterday. One of my close friends threw extra luminous light on that area. Caught me at last!! Browsing my previous scribbling in this notebook (where I wrote this in ink) made me sit up and take notice of the quantum leap in my thinking factory. God! I was so good at this writing business in those days. I adore the way I connected and weaved magic into ideas and words. I used to be so connected with the soul within. WOW! Now, I wonder on which street I have lost the number to link within. On the facade everything looks well and feels great. However when I look closer beneath the lens, it’s all dark. Delving deeper like a curious kid with widened eyes I perceive vacuum and technically it is known as “NULL”. This NULL brings about a “something amiss” sentiment. I eagerly look forward to Friday evening on each day of the week and when it’s the weekend days I no longe...