Friday, April 6, 2012

Dear Life

I know you are doing well. Day by day I am beginning to acknowledge your omnipresent existence. Is it because I don’t have much to do nowadays? Or has the sudden deluge of infelicities made me meditate? Maybe both. Today I thought of stopping by and write in all my qualms.

 I would like to start by expressing my appreciation. You are doing a pretty good job of instigating sharp twists and turns in my journey on this planet.Needs skilful maneuvering to survive! But I am managing…learning on the wheel and yeah enjoying the Zig Zags. In fact, where’s the fun in traveling on a smooth and straight path? That would tend to get monotonous after sometime and I won't be able to withstand humdrum. So a thundering round of applause and “Bravo’s” for you :)

 Now, let me show you the other view behind the fence. Man! You fuck head on and I am flabbergasted. I had never ever envisioned such dark times. We never foresee ill-fortune do we? And why should we? Life is beautiful anyway isn’t it! When everything is perfect we are like Wow! We exclaim ‘Living it up!’, ‘Living life king size’. Life! You appear tamed then and we mortals are gratified. Everything is in control. But you! Yes you! You don’t like being laid against your will. Springing up uncannily is your style! I like it ;) Bows!

 There are days when I wake up with disbelief. Why am I here? What should I do to add value to my existence? They say life is a precious gift bestowed only on special ones and I embrace this gift. However, I don’t want you to drag my role in this rule driven drama. Inertia is corroding my zeal and mediocrity is throwing me off-balance. I am not giving my cent percent to anything! Anything! Indeed! I am a good for nothing fellow nowadays. A burden that is to be disposed off to another house soon…read Marriage!

A chain of irrational rules has wounded my core. Their grip tightens with even a slight hint of resistance. Yet these constraints can’t deter my spirits. No matter how adverse the circumstances become, they can’t put a brake on my train of whims and dreams. Those can’t be taken away from me. My dear life, you are sweet, bitter and sometimes you have that sweet-bitter combo taste. I don’t like the bitter one but then medicines are mostly bitter in taste. Wise women and men say that hardships bring out the best in you, an aspect of your being which was undiscovered. They carve your character and make you stronger. Well! They are wise people and I am not going to counter their experience and knowledge. So, I see, that pain is important to grow, be wise and smart. WTF! I am growing but where is this growth leading me to? You would say, be patient and trust me. I trust you but how long is this wait? This is not trust you would say! Phew! You have spared no other option for me. Years later, I am sure I’ll be able to look back with relief and connect the dots together. You must be wondering, I complain a lot :P Sigh! I concede!

 Today is Good Friday!
He was oppressed, and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not His mouth. – Isaiah 53:7
Strange, something similar happened with me today. I am not comparing my trade-off with the sacrifice made by Lord Jesus. Yet, I couldn't overlook the analogy. Perhaps, I could be asked to let go my aspirations and settle for a 'Safe and Happy' life. People shall refer to me as a "loser" or "submissive lady who couldn't even stand up for her own beliefs and desires". And in the process, I will end up hurting friends who care for me, for no fault of theirs. Nevertheless, I will withstand these blames with patience and faith. Life, I pray for strength to endure and defy. Deep within, I know you shall not let me down and I won't drown my spirit yet. Will hold on! After all,there's Easter to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ after Good Friday. I believe in happy endings :)

Regards,
Warrior :P

7 comments:

Sadaf Khurshid said...

I totally agree with what you say Monica.
"Happys endings..!"
:D

Sadaf Khurshid said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sobhit said...

let who so ever you want to, just dont let yourself down.. all the best for your life and again a great read.. you never lost the touch with words, but only if can make you beleive in what i say..

Angelina said...

Monica

You are a gifted wordsmith, keep doing what you're doing and the rest will take care of itself.

All the best.

kasabiangirl said...

You have a nice way of putting your thoughts into words...it's the twist and turns indeed that make life so much more interesting. Too many twists can be a pain in the ass though. Let's hang on to our bloody existence and take each day as it comes :)

Rohini Prasanth said...

Monica! I swear your life and mine are running parallel! I agree with Kasabiangirl (p.s I am thrilled to see you blogging again) - take each day as it comes, only way to remain sane nowadays. :D

Rohini Prasanth said...

Hey! Good to hear from you (on my blog). I am replying here hoping its easier for you to see the message here.
Sure! I am on FB, but you probably would have trouble finding my profile (privacy settings and all that) you can reach me on e-mail nihirop-at-gmail-blahblah. ;) Would love to chat with you someday.