Thursday, December 31, 2009

Blue moon night

He woke up with a renewed vigor that morning. After all, that was the last morning of 2009. The New Year virus had infected him as well. Initially, he was cynical about all this hoopla until the previous night. A phone call changed it all. His best friend had somehow convinced him to turn up at an upscale and supposedly “the most happening place to be at on New Year’s Eve”. “But you despised parties” claimed a voice inside him. He gazed at his mirror reflection. “Let me test the waters and take a dip just this once! After all I am just 25”. “You are gonna regret this man”. “What will I wear? A Stubble or a neat look? Stubble should go well with my look". He perceived an unusual spring in his steps that day. Change is always refreshing and there’s no harm in giving it a chance just one last time. Hours ticked away and it was twilight. “You look dashing!” he smiled at himself. “This night shall rein in a new change”.

He could sense the revelry in the twilight wind. The sky had a purplish enigmatic tinge. The silhouette of eucalyptus against the purplish sky waved at him. The evening was unusually chilly. It was a blue moon night. "A blue moon is a full moon that is not timed to the regular monthly pattern" said the news paper. That big off-white sphere up above gazed at him. He saw a "Mona Lisa " smile on its patchy texture. Alone in the infinity, serene and radiating with full fervor. All he wanted to do was stand there and look at the magical sky. It aroused tender emotions in him. He felt connected, connected with the higher forces that govern the universe. Enchanting! Tears rimmed up his eyes. Noisy music interrupted him. “Ahh! Yes it’s the party tonight and I am invited, better get going”.

It was exceptionally dark in the club. Candles in exotic colorful stands lent the place a hippie ambiance. All he could see were silhouettes swaying to trance music. As his eyes adapted to the darkness, he saw his friend seated on a couch with others. He went up there. There were introductions and conversations started. Exotic cuisines were supplemented with all kinds of drinks.Name it and it was there. Hours passed by.He felt out of place, something was amiss. “Your Attention Deficit Disorder is playing with your nerves, get a life!” He walked up to an isolated and exceptionally dark corner. He saw a couple making out there. They were so into each other that they didn’t care for his presence. He moved away so as to give them “space”. Sigh…”How I wish my girl was with me tonight, we would have had welcomed the 2010 morning together”. He felt an irresistible urge to smoke. He moved out of the premises for a quick smoke.

A group of guys were arguing with bouncers so as to let them in. He saw two girls kissing each other. “No Big Deal!” he thought to himself. Minutes later, he felt his worked up nerves alleviate. “Perhaps, I am a misfit in this puzzle” he told himself. He sat on the pavement. The parking space was fully occupied yet drivers of luxury sedans were honking mindlessly as if that would create a new space for their vehicle out of nowhere. A group of laborers were laughing heartily as they walked past him. Gorgeous ladies dressed in short dresses and long heels were walking into the club. “It’s a December night, don’t they feel cold or what!” He glanced at his Rolex Chronograph and it read 11:25.

“I don’t want to go inside and neither do I want to be stranded on a lone footpath”. On an impulse, he stood up and started walking. The owner of a burger kiosk was winding up for the day. Two men were warming hands on a bonfire of fallen leaves. He saw a tea stall ahead. The cardamom aroma roused him and he sat himself on the sole wooden plank. The radio was playing Shammi Kapoor’s “Yeh Chand sa roshan chehra, zulfon ka rang sunhera …” Two men were playing a game of chess and talking animatedly. “Some Game” he muttered to himself. A young 7-8 year old boy brought his cup. He took in the cardamom aroma and cupped his hands around the warm glass. Hooting sounds could be heard in the distance. He presumed that the countdown had begun. “10, 9, 8, 7….3, 2, 1” “Nayya saal badhai ho bauji” exclaimed the chai vaala. He greeted the chess players as well. He paid a generous tip to the young boy and walked back to the parking lot. The moon was radiating in the black blue sky. He sat on his car’s bonnet and gazed at the 'blue moon'.


A collage of my birthday presents :)

Friday, December 11, 2009

Shivery Snooze

I have a confession to make. I didn't really expect anyone to read my last post. I just wrote it for the sake of it. Moreover, i feel that writing in a way unburdens my soul. Alas, a friend and a guest read it. And i am somewhat embarrassed.Fingers crossed this time!

GOD! Last night was worse than the previous one! I am still shaken to the core. Strange and weird i must say.

I was not feeling good. I had this uneasy and breathlessness feeling. Was it due to excessive carbohydrates in dinner? Or perhaps a psychological issue? Moreover,i caught up with "A Haunting" on Discovery before hitting the sack. Signed in to Gtalk to clarify an issue and went to bed. In the middle of night i regained my consciousness from beta state. I was shivering intensely in my blanket. I was perplexed. Why was this happening? I don't feel that cold usually.The intensity increased as i became more aware of it. My body started aching due to tremors. My mind was like "You are gonna die".

I instructed my mind to tame those tremors. I started counting 10. Scary thoughts like " You are possessed "
"You have H1N1" , "You have lost your sanity " plagued my mind. I tried my best to concentrate on counts.
After an hour's struggle, my body relaxed. All this while I was consoling myself "Everything will be alright".
I drifted into beta state only to be woken up with a new sensation. I was sweating and was exceptionally warm."You are ill megha, mentally and physically".

Woke up at six in the morning. Tex-ted a good luck message to my friends and snuggled up in my cozy blanket again. To my surprise, i was feeling quite normal. There were no traces of previous night's illness.

BIZARRE!

So here i am trying to join the dots. Was it an over dose of carbohydrates or "A Haunting ".


   My amateur attempt at capturing the essence of night

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Dreams and beyond

Last night too I had this recurring dream of falling teeth accompanied by bleeding gums and intense pain. Ghastly isn’t it! I woke up with a gloomy sentiment today. I remember reading somewhere that dreams communicate and we have to decipher their meaning. May be I need to visit a dentist or is it something deeper? I Googled ‘recurring dream of falling teeth’ and the results confirmed my intuition.There are several interpretations to it. I choose one that holds good for me.

I am nursing a bruised self esteem. Why am I not strong enough to defend her and allow a third party to batter her? Poor baby, every now and then she’s beaten black-and-blue. It’s following a recursive pattern for long. Someone says things and that very night I have this terrible dream. Sigh…I wonder if I am the only one around who’s getting these ghastly visions. I have seen discussions in forums but to this date I have never ever come across a person with a similar problem in real life.



I want her to stand out and be greener than ever even among the withered plants


She’ll be hale and hearty in a day or two but this is not the long term solution. For how long will this persist? I had a discussion with an acquaintance and he said that I am over-analyzing things. We introverts tend to think too much about what we say or hear. He’s right but dreams never lie. Merely trimming down the weeds is not a solution. They should be pulled out along with their roots. I need to nurture her in a different manner. She should be strong and resilient. And how is that to be done?

At times she tells me to run away and start afresh at a distant place. I have had a tough time in clarifying to her that this is not the way out. But she’s a stubborn baby. So, I simply stop paying heed to her tantrums. And when she sees that Mamma is upset, she gives up and complies with Mamma.

However, I am concerned about her future. Why should I allow a third party to fool her or should I say “Ch#### bana jaaye” to be more precise. I don’t want this to happen again every now and then. This is something I need to work on. I plea to the higher forces to guide me in this operation.




Flourish like this plant in the garden of intellect

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Chirping birds are flying to their abodes. My HMT watch reads 17:50. Bitto Chholevaala is gathering his belongings. His job is done for the day. “Lucky chap” I thought to myself. Now he’ll get to spend time with his children. My day or rather night is about to begin. Our band is booked for the next 15 days. At days we have to do double shifts as well. There are no auspicious dates after 14 December this year. It seems as if the entire city wants to marry in these 11 days. No regrets however. I am toiling hard for my family. I want to gift a good lifestyle to my children. I want them to be rich and drive around in big cars. Inshallah, they’ll touch the stars one day.

We were told to assemble near the Pepal tree on main road. Most of the band members have arrived. I am 20 minutes late. The tempo carrying the equipments is parked in the corner. I go there and collect my set from the stack of neatly folded starchy white uniforms kept aside a drum. Using handkerchief I sweep off dust from my shoes. Damn it! Why don’t they shine and show my reflection? Why should I pay a cobbler to do the same job when I too can manage! It’s my hard earned money after all. Ouch! The cut in the wound is getting deeper. It’s nowhere near the healing stage. The sole is worn out. My wife is right. It’s about time to purchase a new pair of shoes. While donning the uniform, I feel elated. The uniform somehow makes me feel worthy. I feel wanted. Army men, Police men and pilots all of them wear uniforms. I get a sense of belonging to that elite group. A job is a job and I am proud of what I do.

All of us assemble together and start reciting the verses. I was told that this has been the tradition since the inception of band. Bauji says that these verses remind him of his great grandfather and by reciting these we are assured of his divine blessings. Recitation over, we move towards the tempo for our equipments. My job is to carry the chandelier on my shoulder in the marriage procession or should I say baraat. Sound of drums and trumpets infuses a spark in the muted wintery evening. I see people looking over from their balconies in nearby buildings. It’s as if the entire colony is a part of celebrations. I sense a renewed vigor in the environs. That’s why I love my job. The groom and his family members are here. The groom is seated in a horse drawn chariot. He’s looking like a prince from heaven. The chariot is decorated with exotic flowers from abroad. All the ladies are shimmering like apsaraas. Big stones in their jewellery are glistening in generator powered lights.

I imagine my wife in this attire. Mashallah, the noor on her face could never be matched up by these stones. Clothes and stones are mere facades. Ultimately it’s all about money and power. Our body is made up of the same matter. Our hearts beat as one and pump blood in the same style. Then why these manmade barriers and discriminations? How does this superior and inferior thing come into picture? Kaka says that it’s the money and influence of power which corrupts the mind. Ahh ‘My wife’. I was too harsh on her last night. I don’t know why I behaved like that. It’s as if some demon overpowers my being and makes me say all those words. I just can’t differentiate between right and wrong. I have this feeling that a dormant beast resides in my being. When he awakens, things take a topsy turvy turn.

I love her; I can’t imagine my life without her. I have never expressed it though. I don’t think these feelings and emotions can be worded. I think she understands. That’s why she silently bears all my atrocities.

People are moving rhythmically to music. They are capering around zealously. I have been a part of several baraats but this mindless capering has never ceased to perplex me. Most of them are drunk, I excuse them. What about others? What kind of a high are they on? I deem it as superficial. The ostentatious display of status and wealth bothers me. To an extent it’s alright, but beyond that it annoys me. May be I am jealous and insecure. They have what all I am aspiring for. Ouch! The pain is unbearable now. “It’s a matter of few minutes, endure it” “You don’t have the luxury to quit”. I reach for my pockets and pat the bottle. “It will dissolve your pain, keep going”. I limp my way to the destination.

I keep aside the chandelier carefully. I take off my shoe. The wound is bleeding profusely. Skin has peeled off. I pay attention to this excruciating pain. What a sensation! I take out the bottle from my pocket and gulped the elixir in one go. I am in a state of ecstasy. The pain is dissipating.



Wanted to post an award by Rohini


the rules are as follows:

1) Post the award.

2) List seven personality traits, as evidenced by your blog.

Simple- My simplicity is reflected in it right from the layout to the words in it.

Insightful- My friends say so!!

Unique- It's one of it's kind and unique in a positive as well as negative sense.I am short of words here.

Illustrative- It has real time examples :P and pictures too at times.

That's it! Seven is a big number.Can't think of more adjectives here


Give the award to 7 others with notable personalities and let them know!

Parul, Sobhit, Veenu, JalPAri, Kasabianngirl, Faith and Angelina

I have posted other awards too Rohini. Check out the slide show.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Unveil the magic of luminance


Pleas for compassion are being disregarded
Efforts to make them see the light of wisdom are turning futile
How tight is this blindfold of malice desires?
O Candles! I wish thy luminance tears through the darkened corners of hearts
O Sparklers! Get rid of cobwebs in deserted cabinets of mind
Festive spirits, I pray thee, illumine the velvety night in our intellects
Brush past the atoms of ignorance to reveal the golden sheath of acumen

PS-Few random lines jotted down to unburden and to ascertain my hope in “Goodness shall prevail”
Wishing you all a very joyous Diwali. Have a great time!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

You get to be a judge!

Innocent... or Guilty?

I have this fascination for judges, advocates and courtrooms.There's something about them which evokes my inner chords. How i wish i were a lawyer...sigh! Anyhow, whatever happens happens for good. So, personally this tag is kind of special for me because i get to be a judge for a change:D

Rohini at Train of thought tagged me.
I am omitting rule 4 in my post.

RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.
RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag to your friends to answer this.

Asked someone to marry you? Innocent.

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Innocent.

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent.

Ever told a lie? Guilty.

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty.

Kissed a picture? Guilty.

Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent.

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty.

Held a snake? Innocent.

Been suspended from school? Innocent.

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent.

Stolen from a store? Innocent.

Been fired from a job? Innocent.

Done something you regret? Guilty.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Innocent.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent.

Kissed in the rain? Innocent.

Sat on a roof top? Guilty.

Kissed someone you shouldn't? Innocent.

Sang in the shower? Guilty.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent.

Shaved your head? Innocent.

Had a boxing membership? Innocent.

Made a boyfriend cry? Innocent.

Been in a band? Innocent.

Shot a gun? Innocent.

Donated Blood? Guilty.

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent.

Eaten cheesecake? Guilty.

Still love someone you shouldn't? Guilty.

Have/had a tattoo? Innocent.

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty.

Been too honest? Guilty.

Ruined a surprise? Guilty.

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn't walk after wards? Guilty.

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty.

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Innocent.

Joined a pageant? Innocent.

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty.

Had communication with your ex? Guilty.

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent.

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty.

Am tagging Venu,Parul,Sobhit,JalPari,Faith,KasabianGirl and Angelina

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

D for Dumb!

I bet this is gonna be real fun.
It is called Dumb dumber Dumbest QUIZ. I know for sure my number shall hover around an 80 or 90 and that would be a giant leap from the academics percentage :P

Here's the quiz

[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking

[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking

[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door

[x] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle

[x] You have thought of something funny while walking by yourself

[x] Laughed, then watched people give you weird looks

OK 4 for now

[x] You have run into a tree/bush.

[x] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow

[x] You have tried to lick your elbow… a few times

[x] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little star have the same rhythm.

[x] You just tried to sing them.

9 Already!!

[x] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

[ ] You have choked on your own spit .

[x] You have seen the Matrix and still don’t get it.

[ ] You’ve never seen the Matrix.

[x] You type only with two fingers.

12 for now!

[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire

[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.

[x] You have caught yourself drooling.

[ ] You have fallen asleep in class and fell outta your chair

[x] You stared hard at someone trying to figure whether the person was he or she

15...am racing up on this one!

[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking

[x] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about

[x] People often shake their heads and walk away from you

[ ] You are often told to use your “inside voice”.

[x] You use your fingers to do simple math

19...hmmmmmm ????

[ ] You have eaten a bug

[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important

[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it

[x] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand

[ ] You have ran around naked in your house.

22, my favorite number

[ ] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t.

[ ] You break a lot of things.

[x] Your friends know not to use big words around you.

[x] You tilt your head when you’re confused

[x] You have fallen out of your chair before

[ ] Mistook your teacher to be a student

25 and counting further!

[x] When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling or wall

[x] The word “ummmmm” is used many times a day.

[ ] Have you opened your mouth to say something but then you pretended as if you were yawning because you forgot what you wanted to say.

TOTAL 27


I am (27/40)*100 = 67.5% DUMB!!!

That's it? Was expecting more here...surprising!

Let us see how honestly dumb Parul,Venu,Sobhit and Faith are.
Have fun guys!I am sure you won't complain of this tag(not really a tag though!) :P

Rohini, thanks for inviting me to take this CRAZZZY quiz!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Web of life

Ughh…my head feels so heavy. As I gain awareness of my sense of being, an impounding pain up above perturbs me. My eyelids feel heavier, burdened by that something. With sluggish steps I walk over to Chintamani’s dhabba and ask for my regular cuppa. I rake in the aroma and warmth of steamy kadak chai. The warmth of vapors pacifies that pain and invigorates my senses. First sip feels magical and does wonders to my aging body. I feel like an old fort, a fort whose beauty has been augmented by morning rays of sun. I savor the warmth and sweetness of my beverage. A gratifying sensation cloaks me, I feel perky and equipped to take on the world.

The city is gradually stirring to life out of deep slumber; a new day and new beginnings. My day starts with a renewed hope. A desire, to be noticed from my shadowy existence and a hunger for my passion’s acknowledgment. Yes, I do yearn for those generous smiles which exude compassion and life. I pine for a loving and respectful gesture. They really make my day’s worth and a day worth dying for. For, I believe that each one of us dies at the end of the day and starts life afresh. All these thoughts electrify me and I discern an unusual spring in my steps as I walk over to a desolate corner in inner circle of a heritage market. With a prayer on lips I unlock my treasure trove. Hundreds of Yoyos greet me with zeal. I pick up my toy and run my fingers through its circumference. Yoyos have been a passion of mine since last 20 years. Now, I have devoted my remaining life to this atypical passion.

Office goers dressed in crisp formals tote the giant white washed corridors. Judging by their walk, I can easily tell the instability and anxiety in their lives. Thank God! I don’t have such life. I start playing with my toy with that perpetual hope in my being. One by one they sway past me, hardly noticing my frame and some of them give me that dirt on the door looks. When you reach my age, you get used to all such treatments. Hours fly by and its noon. More and more lovey-dovey couples and youngsters could be seen now. Few casually look by and then turn away. An indifferent look is eminent in their eyes. Eyes, yes, eyes are the ‘windows to one’s soul’. With years of experience, a minute’s look later, I can easily tell what goes through in your mind. Nowadays I don’t see that fire and strength of character in today’s youth. Majority of them easily get carried away by the illusions and fall prey to materialistic tunes of worldly music. The simple things like- rising sun, cloud patterns, sound of rain, twinkling of stars and luminance of moon doesn’t amuse them. If kids today are like these, I am glad I don’t have any. The energy of the place sparks up with setting sun. Sensing music in the air, I too pace up my yoyo tricks and stunts. Ahaan, this time I did the stunt in a neat manner. Practice does yield fruits. I glance around for a hint of approval. All are just walking past. Some are busy chitchatting, either on phone or with their companions and some with themselves. Some are walking alone, lost in their past or future without sparing a moment to relish their present.

A group of youngsters is strolling. A girl from that group glimpsed at me. Our eyes lock for a second. She saw what I did with my yoyo and gave that smile of appreciation. I nod in return as she walks past me. This is it! I am euphoric. I cannot control that grin on my countenance. Moments later I start packing my belongings with a contended feeling. A tap on my shoulder distracts me. It is Jhinsi.
"You’re done for the day it seems! And nothing sold today as well. Why don’t you try a traffic signal for a change"

"For God’s sake, l don’t want any suggestion of yours. I am not here to make money"

"OK I don’t want to listen to that shit of yours again. Here’s your elixir. See you tomorrow"


The crowd is subdued. The hustle-bustle has faded with light. The illuminated high rises shinning in the backdrop of velvety and starry sky catch my sight. The man in that building can never realize the worth of rustic pleasures endowed upon us by nature. The crescent moon is beaming enigmatically. I exhale the smoke wistfully. I am feeling lighter. Want to soar high up and touch the stars. Am drowsy, my shutters feel heavy. I am fading away like smoke in a breeze…away, away and gone.

PS- My second attempt at fiction.I want a frank feedback from you people.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Elated!

That was the first word in my mind when i saw my name in the lucky five list. At this point, i am out of words to express what i am going through.And awarded by Rohini at Train of thought. With each post of hers it seems as if i am getting to discover a new dimension of life. There are people out there, may be miles and miles away, yet no barriers can prevent one from sharing the opinions and getting in touch with 'frighteningly' like minded people. Yes, at times the similarity seems spooky. I found a strange law while surfing 'Law of similarity'. It states that
...parts of a stimulus field that are similar to each other tend to be perceived as belonging together as a unit


This further reinforces my belief in soul mates.Amazing,the fog is gradually giving way to sunlight.Getting down to the rules

* Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
* Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.
* Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.
* Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List.
* Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

I feel so proud to be part of an ever growing list. Rohini, i did succeed in spotting your name.
I award thee

1.Parul at Ramble On. A special friend with an amazingly different way of looking at things. Though i wish she were more regular with her posts. I think this award shall further inspire her to write with a vengeance.

2. Sobhit at LIFE : THE BLESSED HELLRIDE. A good friend with a high level of intellect.The way he comes up with a practical insight on certain points leaves you dumbfounded.

3. Rohini at Train of thought. I hope i too can award you back :P Whenever i visit her page, i can't help wondering "she mirrors my thinking".

4.Extranjera at What will I ever do with my life. As i have mentioned before, she is the Goddess of Bloggers. This award list is incomplete without her name on the roll. Her crazy and at times weird perceptions coupled with a dose of subtle humor has thousands of fans. She inspires me to 'think out of box'.

5.Jal Pari at ~*~ Stories Of My Life ~*~ A recent addition to my following list. The intensity and emotions in her words has stunned me. There's something about her writing which pulls me like a magnet.An air of humbleness and enigma.Kudos to you girl!


I wonder what was i doing with my life before i started blogging.
Different minds, different perspectives and a plethora of comments and opinions.
I am hooked :P

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The Eight Tag+1

This tag came as a respite from the mundane activities in my life. Rohini at Train of thought has tagged me. She says that my words are sheer poetry. She is always generous in complimenting fellow bloggers and a wonderful human being. Rohini, I think am in the evolution stage and have a long way to go.
Let’s get down with the eight+1 tag thing.
8+1 favorite dishes I love to eat-
I love my share of Pizzas, shakes, breads, fries etc. However, when it comes to favorites, am a pure desi at heart and only the indigenous fare is close to my heart.
1. Kaddi Rice - My all time favorite, am always game for this north Indian preparation.
2. Makki di roti and Sarsoon da saag - The Punjabi blood in my veins never seems to get over the cravings of the all time favorite dish of Punjab.
3. Aloo Puri - Crispy pooris coupled with spicy aloo in gravy…am salivating :P
4. Methi ke Paraanthe - Methi paraanthes topped with melting butter are the best part of winters.
5. Sujji ka Halwa – Am always game for it be it early morning or at the stroke of midnight.
6. Piping hot Gulab jamun
7. Fruit Cream
8. The quintessential khichdi, many people despise it but I am rather fond of it.

9. Custard with fruits and jelly


8+1 things bothering me right now –
1. A dark lesion on my left arm, don’t know the exact cause of it. Perhaps it is due to an insect bite, looks ugly.
2. Incomplete file work and a back log of assignments.
3. I so wish to read a host of magazines and this week’s Lounge, but am unable to prioritize my time accordingly.
4. An unfinished painting staring at me.
5. A couple of books lying on my shelf, I so want to read and immerse myself in those.
6. The fact that I get bored very easily, am I going nuts, am I turning old?
7. Am not at peace with myself, can’t figure out why.
8. Negativity imbibed in certain people, don’t know how to shield myself from their influence.

9.My overactive taste buds :P


8+1 Movies I would never say no to
1. Maine Pyaar Kiya – A classic tale of two lovers and their innocent romance.
2. Pretty Woman - Richard and Julia at their best.
3. Muqaddar ka Sikaadar- An amazing tale of friendship, love and sacrifice.
4. The Notebook
5. DDLJ
6. All Harry Potter Movies
7. Kareeb
8. Sharaabi(couldn’t miss out this one)

9. Forrest Gump


8+1 things I plan to do in this week –
1. Open my books and start preparing for mid terms.
2. Am looking forward to birthdays of two special friends which happen to fall on the same day.
3. Complete the pending work in practical file, am I not always talking about work, work and work!
4. Paint and hopefully I take out time for that.
5. Look inside and be in touch with the silence within.
6. Detach, detach and detach!
7. Take out Me time
8. Discover a new aspect of…don’t know what! I believe to take things slow; life unfolds its mysteries at its own pace.

9. Looking to forward to a dear friend's birthday.

8 sounds that annoy me –
1. The sounds of steam whistle in a pressure cooker (Rohini, am borrowing this one!)
2. The sound of teeth rubbing against the tip of spoon.
3. Annoying sound of high pitch horns
4. The screeching sound of friction between paper and blackboard made of glass.
5. The sound of alarm when I am in the midst of a dream.
6. Sound of a wailing baby.
7. Sound of screeching brakes.
8. Sound of a wailing puppy and dog in the dark of night.

9. Sound of tile cutting machine.


8+1 reasons I love life right now –
1. Am lucky to be blessed with a set of special friends, friends which are hard to come by. Not many people sustain my tantrums and I am grateful to be in an enlightened company.
2. My family - for bearing with me and lifting up my spirits every now and then.
3. The fact that I am able to appreciate the beauty of creation in this universe, be it the chirping of birds, sun light filtering through clouds and hidden rhythm in the drops of water from a leaky tap.
4. As mentioned in my previous post, when I see people helping others selflessly I can’t help being overwhelmed.
5. The enigmatic factor associated with life. There’s so much to be discovered and so much to be experienced. This is what keeps me going.
6. When I see someone happy and really happy, I get this feeling that life is worth every second.
7. There are so many tastes to be savored and so many attires to be tried; this materialistic aspect is another factor which makes me fall in love with this world.
8.I am pleased to read, listen and appreciate breathtaking works by brilliant artists and creators. There is absolutely no limit to the creative boundaries.

9.My over the top dreams!


8+1 traits I really admire in people –
1. Innovation and creativity
2. Humbleness- This quality is hard to come by in this era.
3. Sense of humor- Making others laugh and lifting up their spirits is the best quality any person can have. I so wish I had this innate talent.
4. The ability to respect and appreciate other’s point of view rather than imposing your opinions.
5. Forgiveness- I so wish I held no grudges and forgave easily.
6. Eloquence- Good oratory skills always leave behind a profound impact.
7. Foresightedness and leadership skills
8. Integrity and sense of character

9. Selflessness-ability to put other's before self.

8+1 things I see myself doing in the next five years
This one is tough, as I lack foresightedness. I don’t really plan and have this tendency to act on impulse.
1. Working my way up the corporate ladder, I want to get a taste of working at a higher post, just once!
2. Or may be living off in a remote place, may be in hills and teaching at a boarding.
3. Working for the betterment of society in my own way.
4. I want to purchase my own car and apartment.
5. Want to go to places like Ireland and Finland.
6. I want to write, write and write and see my name in print.
7. I see myself having a good time with my friends.
8. Being more involved in occult sciences.

9. Purchasing that special Adornment...sigh!


8+1 Bloggers I really admire and tag –
1. Parul at Ramble On
2. Sobhit at Life:The blessed hell ride
3. Sahu at Bugs009
4. Faith at As for Today
5. Angelina at MY MAGNIFICENT LIFE
6. Jalpari at ~*~ Stories Of My Life ~*~
7. Life in Egypt at Egypt's wildlife
8. Kasabiangirl at Life sure is a snoozefest

9.Courtesy Sobhit this is 8+1 tag now! So here you go again :P
Sobhit at Life:The blessed hell ride

Sunday, August 30, 2009



My horoscope of the day read “You need to release the creativity bottled up inside you dear Capricorn”. I am taken aback by the precision of these predictions at times. How did they get to know that? But then, not all questions have answers, Isn’t it! I have been away from my passion for too long. Yeah, writing is a passion and a way for me to release the bottled up complexities and seek clarity. All this while, arbitrary “WHY’s” have been playing hide and seek with my intellect. I had to let go else I knew I would go BONKERS.

There’s something magical about the weather today. A mysterious force sprouts the temptation within me to pick up the pen and make notes. To hell with the college assignments! It was hard to resist that, especially when the brain was overstuffed.
I looked up at the infinite sky. Fluffy cotton like white cloud is swaying past a dense blue layer beneath. Moments later a new picture emerges gradually. I try and capture few pictures. You might be wondering that I am always posting repetitive pictures. The ever changing patterns of clouds never cease to stun me. The phrase “PAINTING IN MOTION” flashed like a bolt of lightning in my psyche. On a rusty orange canvas, the creator has painted bold strokes of blue and gray. I savor the panoramic spectacle. It kind of grows on me. The more I gaze, deeper I am drawn. Drawn, to a parallel space time frame. Time just stops by and everything stills for me in those moments. I feel connected to the cosmic force. An air of humbleness descends on me. I am just a small entity in this infinite space with an undiscovered purpose. We humans have a balloon like ego and pride which gets inflated every now and then. However for me, a look at the limitless space up above works well to deflate that balloon. Moreover, the enchanting splendor and rawness in nature arouses tender emotions within me. Be it the joy in witnessing the budding of a flower or studying the staleness in trees. Everything natural is complex and yet so simple.



Of late, the complexities of all, who are worldly and wise, had been bothering me. I marveled at the thought “what I am doing here”. I wished that I could lose this crowd. I wished that I could run far away from everything as Tom does in Forrest Gump. But then again, I guess, the cosmic force has its own enigmatic ways of lifting up my spirits. The other day I saw a volunteer helping a visually impaired person through the thick maze of crowd. At that instant, all the ill thoughts vanished. I regained my lost hope. A realization dawned upon me “All is not lost yet”. Kind souls are still around, no matter how worse things turn, a kind soul shall always be there to guide me. I realized how lucky and blessed I have been to have connections with benevolent souls. Touch wood to that! My connections shall never ever let me down. Love you all and be there for me always.

With this affirmation I sign off.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Life is UNCERTAIN...NO one can escape the cycle of birth and death.

Have read these lines innumerable times yet i wasn't prepared for what was to come next.One doesn't really realize the graveness of these lines until tragedy strikes.
A part of me doesn't want to write.But then, i tell myself "You can communicate only via an invisible bridge". I believe words have that power to connect and reach out to the departed.I think i can reach out via words and feel the presence of his kind soul.

The day started off as normal.A strange thing happened today morning.I saw him in my dream today morning,hale and hearty and well on his path to recovery.I prayed to god for his speedy recovery and was completely clueless of what was to unfold today.In mid afternoon, dark clouds enveloped the sky.There's a strong association between nature and emotions of mortals and special ones i would say.Those one in thousand types, who repose your faith in good despite the widespread blanket of evil and those who are virtuous, they practice rather than preach.

Tiny droplets of rain brushed past my face.At that moment, i was unaware of the tragedy that shall black mark this day.Another thing that's bewildering is-it's his birthday day after tomorrow and he has departed exactly a month after a loved one's birthday.

Via phone, the voice at the other end said "He's no more". I couldn't believe my ears and confirmed what i had heard again. I was too stunned to react.How could he go away like that?So Soon.Such is life's irony...there's no answer to this WHY.

I don't know how I'll face others tomorrow.God give me the strength.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Am tagged again!



Doesn't that look like a unicorn in the sky with its head down? It proved lucky for me because that very night an astonishing thing happened.Read further.

O No! Not again. Third time in this month! Can't make out why people want me to open up those dusty cabinets in my intellect and bring forth abandoned artifacts (made any sense? forget it!).
Though I'll have to confess, I am feeling like a celebrity...glee. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief when I saw myself tagged by the Goddess of Bloggers Extranjera.Isn't that amazing!

Fifth post for this month! Looks like I’ll be breaking my own record.
On second thoughts I wonder who the hell cares and wants to know this much about me. But then I reckon, this time it's by Extranjera. Extranjera! This is just for you :)
By the way, me living in a barrel with the internet connection is an intriguing suggestion: P

Let’s get started.
The idea is, to list five items in each category and not necessarily in order of liking. You can always add or subtract categories according to your will. Then tag five mortals.

My five favorite words:

1.Alohomora -For the uninitiated, this is a spell used in Harry Potter series to open or unlock doors. Love the way it sounds. Whenever I see a locked door I have this tendency to recite the spell and seconds later the callous reality dawns upon me: I am a muggle:(
2.Shukriya - Meaning thank you, the word was born from Urdu. It kind of intensifies the feeling of gratitude and its usage makes me feel royal, can't say why!
3.enchanting - Can't explain my affinity for this word. It arouses a mystical feeling.
4.LOL - Obvious reasons! (though technically it's not a single word) While posting comments on Facebook and our very own Blogger or while chatting on Gtalk, the word is a life saver in jokey situations.
5.Leviosa - Its part of a spell in Harry Potter series 'Wingardium Leviosa'. The spell is used to levitate objects. The word sounds gracious and enigmatic.

My five favorite celebrity crushes:

1.Rahul Gandhi : His down to earth manner in public despite belonging to the grand “Gandhi “ family is admirable. I quite liked his approach to mingle with masses especially the night stays in villages. Moreover, his dimples and boyish charm make him the most illegible bachelor.
2.Richard Gere: Is there a need for me to give any explanations? The name says all.
3.Hrithik Roshan : The pin up guy of the Indian Film industry. Piercing eyes and that two day stubble make him more and more alluring.
4.Hillary Clinton: She exudes power and confidence. At the same time her coolness and oratory skills never cease to astonish me. Her elegant demeanor during the Clinton scandal won her my admiration.
5.J K Rowling: Out of box imagination of hers has billions of fans the world over.

My five favorite random things

1.My tattered blue color pajama –Can’t make up my mind to discard it.
2.My small notebook – I used to jot down my thoughts in it before I discovered the mesmerizing world of blogging.
3.Green color lycra top – A recent possession, fell in love with it at first sight
4.My blogs – They are a part of me, my heart and soul.
5.The TV remote – The pleasure of viewing idiot box is incomplete without having the power to flip channels during the climax scene.

My five favorite comic book characters-

1.Garfield – I so wish I had a life like him. Just lying on the couch with the TV remote and munching on the goodies with ‘to hell with everything’ attitude.
2.Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes – The kid always has a sound and logical explanation for his mischievous activities.
3.Charlie Brown from Peanuts
4.Our very own indigenous Chacha Chaudhary who claims that his brain computes faster than any computer in the world.
5.Dennis the menace

My five favorite literary characters

1.Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth from Pride and prejudice
2.Jane from Jane Eyre
3.Swami from Malgudi days
4.Harry from HP series
5.Heathcliff from Wuthering heights

My five favorite silly desires

1.Spread out my wings and soar high up in the sky
2.Do a moon walk on the moon
3.Own a cozy cottage in the hills, sit in a rocking chair on the porch, watch kittens playing around and write a book using the old fashioned pen and paper or perhaps a typewriter.
4.Talk a walk in a European countryside vineyard and sample the wine there.
5.Learn chocolate making ,prepare a large quantity of sinfully melted chocolate and take a dip in that :P

Finally I’m done. This one required a hell lot of introspection. I’m glad I completed it, it’s nice to travel in the maze of one’s psyche once in a while. I added last three categories.

Now comes the tagging part.

1.Rohini at Train of Thought
2.Kasabiangirl at Life sure is a snoozefest!!
3.Daydream Lily at Daydream Lily
4.Melissa at So about what I said...
5.Steph at Chard Intimate

Monday, July 27, 2009

Sound and Silence



Here comes the rain, a welcome respite from the monotonous and humid weather. The way weather plays with our emotions never ceases to amaze me. Few minutes ago,I was in a complaining mode and was eating into a friend’s head. Later, I stepped out to experience the tiny droplets in my hands. I feel short of words to express that joy. All my mental blabbering flew away with the monsoon breeze and I am smiling again. The sound and silence of rain make me ponder. Why not take advantage of the moment! I logged into blogger and got the words flowing. Sound of breeze whistling past the leaves and the sound of collective droplets create an enchanting rhythm. Now, you must be wondering where silence comes into picture.I am talking about silence within. Whenever it rains, an unusual silent aura pervades my mind. It goes blank. A serene sensation fills me up and I delve into the glory of silent pleasure.

Sound and silence are poles apart and yet they merge smoothly. Sound could be silent and yet silence has a sound. I know, that’s a poor attempt at philosophy. The other day I had this random thought “What if we human beings weren’t blessed with the gift of speech, what if we barked, howled or hooted just like other animals!” I am sure this world would be a better place. In these summer vacations, I have had the pleasure to witness a number of large gatherings-say 7-8 people or more.I observed the pattern of their verbal communication.It is dependent on the age factor and the level of intimacy between the participants.Very often, the words being spoken were laced with sarcasm and jealousy, a desire to be brag over and over and a touch of apathy. The conversations of such kind are definitely high on entertainment quotient. If you look at it, just as an observer without any opinions and prejudices you will realize the futility in it. Hey I don’t intend to sound like a wise old lady or a philosopher neither do i mean to offend any one. I too indulge in such pointless and enjoyable chitchats and very often I say something which I lament later. I have seen that many people leave no opportunity to pass mocking comments though they don’t mean to upset the other party. I can’t reason why this happens but it ensues over and over again.A way could be to just listen without any judgments, opinions and reactions.But i reckon that it is not always possible.Being diplomatic and tactful is an art that requires expertise.

Therefore,I conceived of an evolved and mute human species. Of course, everything has its pros and cons. I believe in this case the pros outweigh the cons. I suppose we don’t need words to express our love and emotions. We can easily convey what we want through other means- sign language, writing mode and may be some other advanced methods. The advantage of these is-We won’t indulge in blathers. I recall reading a study which said that non verbal communication is much more powerful than the verbal mode. Our eyes, posture and hands are powerful tools that express more than we can imagine.

What do you think? Is the evolution of Homo sapiens into mute ones a way to a better realm?

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I have been tagged!

The kasabiangirl has tagged me.Though i must confess,being an introverted and private kind of person I am not very keen on answering such kind of stuff.However i will try to be honest with answers here.

The rules:
* Link the person who tagged you.
* Post these rules on your blog.
* Share your ABCs..
* Tag 3 people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
* Let the 3 tagged people know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
* Do not tag the same person repeatedly but try to tag different people, so that there is a big network of bloggers doing this tag!

The ABC of me...all that there is about me :p

A – Available/Single? Available

B – Best friend? To be frank, don't believe in that term any more. Have close friends rather than best friends.They are- Ruchika, Parul, Veenu, Shobit and Vikas...that's all

C – Cake or Pie? Cake

D – Drink of choice? Pineapple or apple juice.

E – Essential item you use every day? My specs

F – Favorite colour? It keeps on changing, these days it is Green

H – Hometown? Sadda Bathinda, Punjab

I – Indulgence? I spent an outrageous amount on a lip gloss 2 months back and haven't used it yet:P Don't know why i bought it.

J – January or February? January...exams get over.

K – Kids & their names? None yet.

L – Life is incomplete without? tough one...umm I'll say the occasional guilty indulgences.

M – Marriage date? December, 2015 :p

N – Number of siblings? One sister

O – Oranges or Apples? Apples...only the juicer ones please!

P – Phobias/Fears? Claustrophobia is the only one i can think of at the moment.

Q – Quote for today? "If A equals success, then the formula is:
A=X+Y+Z, where X is work, Y is play and Z is keep your mouth shit"
Albert Einstein

R – Reason to smile? The ever increasing number of followers to my blog :P

S – Season? Winters for sure...love cozying up in my blanky, and the chilly winds
brushing past my face and rednning the tip of my nose.

T – Tag 3 People? I tag thee, Parul,
Sobhit and Rohini...Have fun filling this one out

U – Unknown fact about me? At times i could be bratty, selfish and what not.The complete opposite of what i usually am...now that you know about it,BEWARE

V – Vegetable you don't like? Many out there, will pick up Brinjal

W – Worst habit? Procrastination, at times i don't take things seriously at all.

X – X-rays you've had? Never...touchwood :)

Y – Your favorite food? I have a sweet tooth, so i am a dessert person

Z – Zodiac sign? Sagittarius and Capricorn...am a cusp

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Vanity v/s Guilt

My half opened eyes popped out with vigor as I shuffled through the pages of newspaper. No, it did not have to do with Obama 'ogling at the behind of a Brazilian lady' or 'The blackest day in the history of Delhi Metro'. Well, I am talking about monsoon SALE. Wow!That word evokes a sense of enthusiasm and an inclination to rush over to the store and grab the bargains.

At that very instant I envisioned a magical wooden wardrobe in my possession. The one which updates it self,with whatever apparel I imagine. Won't that be great! Just imagine it in your head and your object of fancy is there for you. Potter mania is getting to my head. I need to catch up with the latest flick else I'll go crazy for sure. All of a sudden, out of nowhere these words started playing in my head 'I used to complain about the shoes I wore, until I saw the boy with no feet'. I read these, in a heart wrenching TOI article last week and the words had left a lasting impression on me.Instantly,I was transported back to the reality. In a country like India, where half of the population is below the poverty line. How can I afford to have these materialistic thoughts? 'But then, its important to look good'. There goes Megha, that's my pet name and in a way my stubborn alter ego. In this age of first impression, you can't afford to be ill dressed. OK stop it! I left it there.

The next day, a friend invited me to accompany her on a shopping spree. I felt honored ,after all she chose to trust my style instincts. The shop she chose had updated its collection recently. We scanned the outfits with great eagerness. We zeroed on 3-4 apparels and then the friend went off to the trial room. In the mean while, I was looking around and a piece caught my fancy. It was like 'love at first sight' phenomenon. Without thinking i rushed of to the trial room. Man! The fit was superb, as if,it was just made for me. I stared gleefully at my reflection. I couldn't lay off my eyes. 'Buy it, you'll never regret' said Megha. I was like 'I don't need it for now, my wardrobe is already overstuffed. Bratty Megha exploded 'To hell with your shoe thing...Come on! You deserve to look good and then you'll feel good. Take pride in vanity!'. The practical part of me protested 'Feel good for 4-5 hours and then cope up with the pangs of guilt! No way! Don't you recollect the struggle of that lady in the article. What kind of vanity is this! Don't be so impulsive'.I changed over and kept back the outfit on a rack. The friend asked for my final opinion of her chosen outfits and then we went over to the billing counter. I turned back to take a last look at the 'devil in disguise'.'Oh! Come on, you are not a sister in a convent'. Megha took over. The next moment,I was lined up at the billing counter with that 'sweet devil' :P
Once again, vanity triumphed over guilt. Megha is right about the feel good thing but I am certain that the pleasurable phase is always short lived . I have to work upon disconnecting this bond between vanity and gratification. Perhaps, I concede, the victory over Megha is many years away.



Water color on paper, my recent art.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

My first on a Canvas!




YAY! It's an exhilarating feeling. Oil on canvas...Really! It was an impulsive act.Out of the blue i get this desire to work on a canvas rather than my sketch book(For a Change!).A trip to the nearby stationery and moments later i have all the artistic stuff staring at me.NOW! paint what? I am not really good at sketching. I wanted to play with colors and may be create a texture.

What will I draw? I was plagued with this thought. It had to be simplistic. Though i would have had loved to give the detailing(Alas! My poor drawing skills :( ). I Googled "painting ideas for beginners". Nothing really caught my fancy at the first sight itself.
I was in a haze. At the back of my mind i knew that the idea shall strike like a lightening bolt at any instant. The key was to be patient.Then, one day i stumbled upon a picture of Meditating Buddha while browsing.It caught my fancy.The sculptures and pictures of Meditating Buddha have always had a profound influence on me.The closed eyes and the smile of gratification seem to hypnotize me.So that was it! I was certain that I would draw a minimalist sketch and give a textured background.
Tadaa...am done with my first Oil on Canvas.

P.S. I was astonished to see 2 new followers today.I am kind of feeling proud of my self :P
A warm welcome to Steph and Kasabiangirl.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Get well soon :)

Mama

It has been a long time uhmm…more than three months I think. I vividly recall,we met last on 27 December at a house warming. All of you invited us for a stay and both us were acting pricey…hehe. Actually we deferred our visit due to Tanu’s internal exams and you very well know how much freaked up she is in exam time. I think now you are acting pricey…Duh. Come’ on now! All of us here are waiting with baited breath for your discharge from hospital and quick recovery. Hospitals are like your second home nowadays.I reflect you’ve had enough of them and I am sincerely hoping that this is your last stay of all (with crossed fingers). You know what, Papa says that it’s a tough fight but I know from inside that you’ll emerge as a winner.At this instant,I wish Papa didn’t have any medical understanding, all the things he says don’t sound good to me and I try and not pay attention to his words.

I am focusing on The Secret techniques- visualizing and all that stuff. Mami and Anisha are doing everything possible- fasting, visiting holy places etc. You have to combat your ailments; I know it’s easy for me to say all this. But you have no choice. Twice,you have had those critical moments but with God’s grace you were rescued. I consider those as an indication from the higher forces- You are going to come out of all this.

I am conceiving of your healing body and I am sure it is working on the insides. Visualization is a tough process; I tend to get negative thoughts and I Shoo away those . After all I don’t have much control over my mind, it’s like a wild horse racing away in random directions and I am trying my best to tame it.You better get your act right and recuperate. Although ‘Stable Condition’ is the appropriate keyword,achieve that state ASAP.

The other day your Honda parked in the Verandha caught my attention. I envisioned you driving it. It has been ages, your Honda is waiting for you to lay your hands on it. Your favorite couch is craving for your bottom. Nani and Papaji are waiting for your happy disposition to lighten up the ambiance . Papaji is getting frustrated by this over-extended stay of yours and you know Nani is the target of all that frustrations. By the way, I discreetly enjoy those Quarrels in ‘Derawali’. Its not every day that i get to listen to the family dialect.Each and every object of that house is craving for your presence. The home is incomplete without you and we didn’t at all enjoy our brief stay there.

Why I am I writing this? I know it’s a private thing but I am affirming my positive thoughts through this post. I believe there’s immense power in words and the higher forces will have to relent to our wishes. I am sending a strong signal to the universe. Your healing shall be nothing short of a miracle. I am constantly telling myself ‘You are on the way to recovery, your organs are reconstructing themselves and you are going to come out of all this’. You know what, I saw you in my dreams a number of times- hale and hearty. I believe that’s a strong signal of your well being in near future.

I hope this sends a intensely high frequency signal up there and you start getting better and better with each passing day. Amen

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Feminine power all the way!

“Agar ladkey kutty hain ,toh unhe banane wali bhi yeh ladkiyan hain”

Do you agree? I don’t and I am writing this post so as to present my arguments against this notion.

First thought- The above statement adds another feather to a man’s traits and that is “passing the buck”. I don’t want this to be another Male v/s Female thing but can’t help it. I must confess I have always loved male bashing and for me nothing can beat the sight of a guy getting a beating from his girlfriend(haven’t seen such thing for ages Sigh!). Coming back to the point, is it our fault that we are pretty? That’s how we were meant to be, Isn’t it! If our beauty brings alive the canine in you then we are not to be blamed. Although we are not ‘Dhud ki dhuli ’and neither are you. We do occasionally indulge in ‘Harmless Flirting’ but we do it in a very uhmm shall I say a ‘Clean Way’. I remember spending long hours in the college canteen lawns and checking out hot guys (those were the days!) .However, we don’t give those dirty stares; that ‘rape with eyes look’. That’s your prerogative Mr.

Once upon a time, we were kept behind the veil; never allowed to voice our opinion forget about asserting our sexuality. Now that we are doing it, you are blaming us. Guys! When will you grow up! Being a woman is not easy as it seems. We have to live with PMS and cope up with mood swings and monthly stomach cramps. We are the ones who bear the baby and you can never ever imagine the intensity of labor pains. And they call us the ‘weaker sex’!

We wear revealing clothes and you start fantasizing! (its another thing that you fantasize about a covered woman as well) Well, at times, that’s our main purpose for wearing such outfits but not always. We dress up to feel like a million bucks or just to make our girlfriends jealous ;) We always dress up so as to impress you Take away this thing from your mind Mr.! Looking at the other side of it, we know it doesn’t take much effort to make a man fall weak in the knees. An inviting look in the eyes is more than enough to set your tails wagging! Of, course exceptions are always there (and welcome, thank God!). This is what I call the ‘Feminine Power’. And to get rid of a guy…Get closer and Closer and Closer(play on with your commitment phobia), yeah that’s the Fastrack advertisement. Advertisements remind me of the AXE kind, a hint of Axe is all you need to get us crazy! How pathetic! I mean we aren’t pattaoed that easily (though exceptions always exist).

Roving eye- Yes we girls also have roving eyes. We do tend to check out a guy’s butt and I know a few girls who fell for a certain guy just because he had cute butt. But we are not like you, checking out I don’t know what all stuff. We have our own discreet ways to catch your attention (secret weapons! which I won’t disclose here). I can say for sure even you guys enjoy being wooed. However, we do it in a playful way; we don’t stoop down to dirty ways. We don’t go around throwing acids when rejected or rape you in a fit of rage. This reminds me of a stray incident in Pakistan (can you believe it!) where a man was raped by a group of women. Tit for Tat! In this era, women are doing all jobs which were initially meant for men only, so why not this! However, harassment is a heinous act and I don’t advocate it, no matter whosoever does it.
I guess men are getting a taste of their own medicine and this is just the beginning.Hey! i am getting a sense of achievement(don't know why!) after having completed this.Feels great :)

Kudos to Feminine power!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Withering Highs

'Wuthering Heights' in today's newspaper caught my eye. I loved the classic by Bronte. Since I am more or less idle now days,I made up my mind to write on a related topic. From there,this phrase 'Withering Highs' hit me.

The word 'High' reminds me of alcohol and drugs. I am not really sure of the feeling associated with 'being on a high' but I'll try my best to pen down that sensation:P With the first sip,you revel in the taste (or turn up your nose in disgust if you are a first timer) of your drink. A sense of relaxation is evoked as you take in more sips. All your inhibitions start melting away. You start talking more and your laugh sounds heartier than before. Though you yourself are not conscious of these changes. Couple of sips later(again that varies from person to person), this blissful and ecstatic feeling amplifies. You are the happiest person and the entire world is in your feet(reverse 'Devdas' effect is also a possibility, I won't delve into that).Wow! Isn't that a great feeling! But,as all good things should come to an end, this feeling too passes away. As the clock ticks away, the high starts withering. The cursing hangover brings about the confession 'I shouldn't have overdone it'.

Coming over to my kind of 'High'. Sucking up sweetened syrup from ice crystals of 'Gola' gives me immense pleasure. The way it chills your head, I believe nothing in this world can beat it. To sum up the feeling, 'Chubbti garmi vich thand pe jaandi ha'. As the 'Cool High' starts withering, it brings with it a lumpy feeling in my throat. And that's the reason my mum (actually, its the case with mostly all the mothers) has never approved this summer delicacy.

The thick, creamy ,sweetened Lassi topped up with Malai on a hot afternoon transports you into a trance. Deep and uninterrupted sleep is the aftereffect of this drink.

The word 'High' also implies 'morally good'. This angle gives 'Withering Highs' a different meaning altogether. I am sure most of you have witnessed or have been victims of the deteriorating morals in our society. The money starved and sex starved people can stoop down to unimaginable levels. But not all is murky. There are still good people out there. They retain your faith in humanity and somewhat ease your survival in this jungle.
As they say this is 'Kalyug' and the worst is yet to be seen.

"Simply sit back and wait for the tide to turn"

I don't know why I find myself drawn to writing dark and gloomy stuff on this page. There are lots of topics waiting in the corner but when I sit down to write I just can't resist the urge to express the obscure side of me. May be its because this is the only place where I can articulate these kind of thoughts. You can easily share your happiness with others but when it comes to something gloomy then perhaps solitude is your best friend. In the shade of solitude you can contemplate and console your self from the harsh realities.

Living life is like savoring a bunch of black grapes. All the grapes look alike and you can't really differentiate between overripe,soft and the normal ones(though the overripe seeds are perfect for wine and raisins). The only way to do that is to pop one in your mouth and either relish the juicy,tender seed or chew the other one in disgust. Lucky ones are blessed with mostly juicy and succulent grapes in their bunch. Some get a balanced deal and the remaining ones get to savor mostly the overripe ones and that's my point. I think life is a bit unfair for few chosen ones and these are generally those people who always mean well and do good unto others(my perception). People attribute this to either unfavorable planetary positions or the baggage of past life Karma. You can't help but question why it had to be him/her. I wonder why we are made to suffer for our past life deeds in the current incarnation. I think all the accounts should be cleared in the current birth and no liabilities are to be carried forward. But as they say 'You cannot have your cake it and eat it too'. There must be something positive behind this “Past life Karma” theory.

Just imagine, your life is sailing smoothly and nothing is amiss. You are well settled and content with everything. Then out of the blue a speed breaker appears out of no where on the highway of life and your vehicle goes out of control. You cry your lungs out and wail in disbelief and question the supreme power 'why it had to be me'.Then gradually you retain your composure and optimism. You acknowledge your fate and concede the fact that you are not the only one with sorrows and griefs in this world. There are others with similar or worst grievances. You pray with all your conviction and your optimistic self tells you that nothing worse can happen after this. Then life bowls another Googly and leaves you dumbfounded. You feel betrayed and start analyzing your past and think of all the good things you have done for others. Hoping against hope you continue your journey on the path of prayer with renewed faith.
Desperate for a flicker of light in the plunging darkness you continue treading the path of hardships.
A prisoner of fate, you can only wait, hope and watch.

I really don't know how to conclude this.I take a walk in the dark.A dog's bark breaks through the silent ambiance.He goes on and on with his pleads but no one really cares and pays attention unless they are disturbed. Such is the level of apathy these days.
I lay beneath the starry skies and gaze at the luminous crescent shaped moon. The magnanimity of nature has a soothing effect. I am awed by the brilliance and beauty of the night sky. All the thoughts simply fade away. The twinkling stars convey a subtle message “Simply sit back and wait for the tide to turn”.And hopefully it will turn in our favor this time.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Delirious perspectives

As they say 'An empty mind is a devil's workshop' and I'm no different.I jotted down few random and bizarre opinions of mine.

My take on profanities

Sonofabitch, Motherfucking, our very own B.C. , Ch. ,#@%^…Etc.( my vocabulary is limited :(, I never think beyond ‘kutte’and ‘ghaade’)What’s the similarity in all these swear words? All of them target females related to the recipient.Lately I have observed that these words are being used more as punctuation marks rather than as profanities. The male ego or psyche gets a boost when these words are used, moreover, when one is in the company of peers. I think,a sense of pride and achievement is felt.However, when one is actually cursing somebody I fail to understand that how in the world can you say ‘have sex with your mother or sister or whatever’ for a mistake of his. I don’t know whether people actually realize what they are saying while using these words. But, logically,how come ‘go fuck your mother or sister’ comes into the picture? The other day an autowallah said ‘Madam aapne Ch. banadiya mere ko’. I don’t know what it means but it is definitely something vulgar. I shot back ‘Maine kuch nahin banaya’ and I thought ‘aapko banaane ki zaroorat nahin ha,aap ho hi’.
Who so ever invented these kinds of words must be so happy in his grave considering the immense popularity of his creations now days. Moreover, we get an idea about men’s mental framework. They never thought of women beyond ‘baby vending machines’ or ‘sex objects’. But, now times have changed. Women have broken the glass ceiling, they are in the forefront every where at least in urban areas. So, I was thinking why not turn the wheels in the reverse direction. Let’s have curses like ‘Sonofadog’, fatherfucking, brotherfucking etc. The intended receiver could be a female or a male(gay relationships are not looked down upon nowadays). Usage of these words shall buoy up the feminine psyche and men will probably realize what those words actually imply rather than using them unconsciously.
Another thing that irks me is the male hypocrisy. Any ‘chivalrous gentleman’ won’t buzz these words in the company of women. However, five drinks later, all that chivalry just vanishes in the air. Moreover, when we see a girl using this kind of language, the society tends to label her as ‘immoral’, ‘slut’, ‘a whore’ etc. In St. Joseph's,I remember being repeatedly told that ‘Good girls never use such language’. When a guy uses these words he is considered to be ‘kewl’ or ‘has grown up’.What happened to the freedom of expression for us?

My take on naturism

Flat 50% Off, Last two days, Never before, up to 70% discount.
For the past few months newspapers have been screaming SALE and trying to lure mortals to burn their hard earned money. It’s not that I regret splurging on clothes. ‘Clothes maketh the man’ , they do enhance our exteriors. My devil mind came up with a bizarre thought. What if we didn’t wear any clothes? No more mindless spending and bothering about how am I looking in this? Great na!

What if somebody had never bothered to invent textiles and fabrics? Life would have been much simpler. We would be roaming around either naked or with leaves and bushes covering only what needs to be covered. I think the first choice is better. There would be no global warming owing to transportation of fabrics and processing of synthetics. No more shearing sheep for wool and extracting silk out of silk worm cocoons. There won’t be any Armani’s, Versace’s and other unrealistically costing designer stuff.

On a serious note, there won’t be any biases or discrimination on the way one is dressed. Everybody would be at par in the society. Moreover, we’ll love and respect our bodies just as they are, like naturists. There are several beaches in the world where people can roam around only in their body suit. Every atom of our body would be in contact with the air and we would feel closer to nature. Just look around, everything in our surroundings is bare and in its natural form. Why are then, we human beings trying to cover up? Now I understand why some ‘holy men’ roam around naked in places like Varanasi and Benares. I always considered it disgusting and thought that they were trying to garner attention. They give a damn about what others think. Why do Pagans pray in nude? This is how it should have been in our society. I think clothes are a man made barrier which prevents our communion with nature. We no longer respect and appreciate the natural beauty.

Well, i guess somethings were meant to be as they are and nobody can change the way things are now.Will have to live with these norms.
Now i realize what crap have i written,anyhow ' Thodi bahut pagalpaanti bhi zaroori ha'

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

My phone beeped to announce the arrival of a text message that read “Rose for a rose...Happy Rose day”.For a moment I was perplexed and then it occurred to me that the countdown for the big day(read V-day) has finally begun. Its like the most awaited day by college goers(even school kids) to express,confess or celebrate their so-called LOVE. Tomorrow there shall be some other day may be a chocolate day or a teddy day, who knows! I typed in the reply “An SMS can never substitute the texture and scent of a rose...anyhow Happy Rose day to you as well”. What a lame reply that was but I couldn't think of anything worse than this then :p Have I ever received a 'real rose' on this day?Oh yeah I did! And that was probably two years ago and Hey I met that chap recently on my visit to college. It was nice to catch up with an old friend after a long hiatus.

Emotions are like wild horses and rather than taming them its better to let them loose. Of late I have been pondering over the phenomenon called love and what better than Valentine's week to express my views on this. Is the feeling for real or is it a mirage created due to the release of chemicals and hormones. Studies have shown that 'oxytocin' and 'endorphins' are primarily responsible for this illusion. One gets this feeling of flying in ninth heaven and everything about the other person seems to be perfect. Its like an out of the world experience for few initial days and then slowly everything eventually starts to fade out .But what is it about the person that triggers these emotions, is it the looks?The light in the eyes?This reminds me about the concept of soul mates. I was intrigued by the theory the day I read it for the first time in Paulo Cohelo's Brida. It says that our ultimate aim in our lifetime is to encounter at least one of our soul mates in each incarnation. If we allow our soul mate to pass us by , without accepting him or her or without even noticing then we'll require another incarnation in order to find that soul mate. Interesting and we recognize our soul mates by the light in their eyes or the clairvoyants can see a point of light above the left shoulder in The Tradition of Moon. This certainly aroused my gray matter. One part of me says yes this is for real and the practical part of me is skeptical about it. What kind of light does one have to look out for? Almost every other person has sparkling eyes but that doesn't mean that all of them are my soul mates. May be its too early for me to get into all of this.

Getting back to the phenomenon of love. Markets and industries costing millions of dollars are thriving on this emotion. There's music,movies,books,merchandise and god knows what. The most recent venture which has caught the entire world to sit up and take notice is 'Slumdog Millionaire'.Its a typical Bollywood style love story packaged in an appetizing 'Indian Poverty' gift wrapper. To a certain extent I believe that movies,be it Bollywood or Hollywood are largely responsible for inculcating this belief that 'someone somewhere is made for you' and all that stuff. We being emotional fools easily get influenced and of course who doesn't like fantasy tales and happily ever after illusions.

Whenever I catch up with my old friends they are like 'Do you have a boyfriend'?Then they go like 'Hmm...its high time you get one'.I have my share of infatuations but for now I haven't progressed beyond that. The practical part of me always cuts short my flight to the ninth heaven(or is it the seventh?) and I realize the futility of my emotions. I guess for my age it will be an on/off thing. However, one thing is for sure, ten years later when I'll read this I'll realize the absurdity of my contemplations. And that is the beauty of life. As for my soul mate, will have to wait and watch.

P.S.-The 'romantic' weather today inspired and egged me on to come up with this post.I had a great day today and the treat was the icing on the cake.This reminds me of the awesome truffle cake we had today.
Mausam mastana rasta anjana..jaane kis mod pe ban jaaye koi afsana...

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Just a bad day :(

What a gloomy day! In the morning, lying in my bed I could sense that something is not right about TODAY.As usual I dismissed it as a figment of my imagination. I read the news of gang rape of a MBA girl in Noida. What goes in the minds of these rapists? Why do these men think that they have the liberty over any woman they want and what makes others jump into the act, don’t they have an independent mind of their own? Day by day, the city and NCR is becoming unsafe for women.
Few minutes later I saw the news of Satyam balance sheet scam on CNBC. My God! I could never imagine such a thing from one of the top IT companies of India. The anger was apparent in Udyan Mukherjee’s voice; I have never seen him talk like that before. He is always calm and composed and I admire him for that composure. I don’t know why he lost it today. Coming back to Satyam, Mr. Raju what made you think that you’ll be able to get away safely after such kind of manipulations in the balance sheet? Earlier it was Maytas and now what made you commit such a heinous act? The devil within us can take over anytime and before we realize it, it’s too late to mend those acts.

Few hours later I went with Papa for driving. I don’t know what happened to me (or the car) today, the engine just went off when I applied brakes and shifted the gear to neutral. It happened a number of times and the honking of impatient people from behind made me more nervous. The experience was just too bad today, though thankfully there was no collision (touch wood).My hands were sweating as I fumbled with the gears ad mist constant honking. I don’t know why people are so impatient, can’t they be see the ‘L’ and be sensible enough to wait. There’s this general perception that women are bad drivers and they better stay away from roads. I know a number of women who drive smartly. I want to be one of those who defy that perception. I may be a slow learner but with adequate practice I’m sure I’ll able to drive through smoothly. I guess even papa must be wondering by know ‘good for nothing girl’. I feel bad when I let down somebody and myself. Hopefully it won’t be bad next time.
I too want to be independent and drive myself to any place rather than relying on others.I just hope and pray that I’ll be able to drive smartly one day and get my driving license without greasing the hands of touts.