Sunday, July 18, 2010

Allah,I seek refuge from my alter ego. She bullies me, mocks my beliefs and jeers my hopes. I avow “This is not me”; “I am you dear, no running away from me. I am your present, past and future”. I conjecture she’s going to be my companion throughout my life span. So I better be on good terms with her rather than brood over her presence. It’s not that I detest her. She’s follows me everywhere, I walk she walks behind me, I stop she stops. She is here there and everywhere in my being. Indulgence is her forte. She pampers me like a queen and makes me believe that “I am special”.

However, when clocks tick tocks in darker milieus she vanishes in thin air.”O dearest form! Whither thou escapeth?” I wish to seek solace, yet she’s nowhere to be found. With a limp walk I tread on the highway of broken hopes and daunting dreams. I turn back, no traces of her. It’s a moonless night. Howling wolves send jitters down my spine. I pause for a moment and go on.

A bright sunny morning greets me. I turn, WOW! She’s back! “I am not talking to you! Where were you last night? “. She didn’t say a word. “No way! You can’t tag along with me” I exclaim. She’s silent. I give up thinking. Hours passed by and then it flashed to me. It was a moonless night, hence she wasn’t exactly visible. In fact, she was the one who gave me courage to walk on when my feet had frozen in fear. She was the light in my darkest hour.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Got my wings ;)

Hahahahahaha...what’s with me today? I can’t stop chuckling since morning. Hahahahhahaha...there I go again. The alcoholic monsoon season has intoxicated me. Perhaps my desire has come true :P Last to last week I had naively asked a friend to get me wings from his spiritual trip. Ain’t I crazy? How can a human being fly! Yet I wanted to and I think am flying today. Realllllyyyyyyyyy high up above…not literally yet but that’s how am feeling today. Mad! Wild and what not! And no I haven’t had Red Bull. These wings have evolved naturally. Thank you Veenu :) You fulfilled your promise. I pestered for wings like one idiotic woman that day…unbelievable! And man, today it feels as if I have got those. Blog, however weird and foolish your desires are, don’t sweep them away in a corner.

I want to fly and shit on my superior’s shoulder and manager’s eyes...hahahahahahah wouldn’t that be awesome! Sheesh I don’t want to think about those two and spoil the party. Know what! Want to go somewhere distant…aahh yes I see a giant cliff. Wow! The green valley spread viewed from up above is magnificent. I can feel the piercingly chilly and violent wind brushing past my countenance. Jittery! Impulsively I raise my arms and close my eyes. The adrenaline rush charges me and I jump. The powerful gravitational force comes into play. I am buzzing in to the forest cover down at a lightning fast speed. Whooooooooooooooo......what a rush! And then nanoseconds before I hit the base I steer and accelerate to the right. Soar up high in the sky. The mere imagination of all this gives me a high: P

I so want to go to a jail today and spend a night there. A Fanatical whim! I told you blog, am displaced today and am loving it….hahahahahahaha. What’s with this new found fascination for jails? I think I should get back to driving :P Then this whim too shall be fulfilled ;) Oh God! I need to set an appointment with a psychiatrist ...Hahahahahahaha.

Another foolish desire of mine was to splash in a mud pond. That would have been fun. Alas, it didn’t rain out here. Besides, mum would have had given me those Strict Mommy looks if I did that. However, I made up for the mud thing by eating a mango in the traditional style. Eating with hands and sucking the sweet flesh. It got really messy. My hands were wet with juice; the area around mouth was smeared with mango flesh. I tell u blog, it was fun getting dirty.

The dormant child within me has indeed woken up today dear blog. She wants to play around, giggle randomly, create unnecessary fuss and just do everything impulsively. Hahahahahahahaha can’t stop chuckling today dear blog. 4th July…hmmm Nothing special today yet everything seems so different. My birthday is months and months away and I don’t feel the same on that day. Okk…I should stop thinking over it. Live in the moment! Hahahahahahhhahahahah....and am not drunk blog. Don’t look at me like that :P I am insanely sane and abnormally abnormal. LOLZ and am loooooooovvvvvvving it :D