Sunday, August 30, 2009

My horoscope of the day read “You need to release the creativity bottled up inside you dear Capricorn”. I am taken aback by the precision of these predictions at times. How did they get to know that? But then, not all questions have answers, Isn’t it! I have been away from my passion for too long. Yeah, writing is a passion and a way for me to release the bottled up complexities and seek clarity. All this while, arbitrary “WHY’s” have been playing hide and seek with my intellect. I had to let go else I knew I would go BONKERS.

There’s something magical about the weather today. A mysterious force sprouts the temptation within me to pick up the pen and make notes. To hell with the college assignments! It was hard to resist that, especially when the brain was overstuffed.
I looked up at the infinite sky. Fluffy cotton like white cloud is swaying past a dense blue layer beneath. Moments later a new picture emerges gradually. I try and capture few pictures. You might be wondering that I am always posting repetitive pictures. The ever changing patterns of clouds never cease to stun me. The phrase “PAINTING IN MOTION” flashed like a bolt of lightning in my psyche. On a rusty orange canvas, the creator has painted bold strokes of blue and gray. I savor the panoramic spectacle. It kind of grows on me. The more I gaze, deeper I am drawn. Drawn, to a parallel space time frame. Time just stops by and everything stills for me in those moments. I feel connected to the cosmic force. An air of humbleness descends on me. I am just a small entity in this infinite space with an undiscovered purpose. We humans have a balloon like ego and pride which gets inflated every now and then. However for me, a look at the limitless space up above works well to deflate that balloon. Moreover, the enchanting splendor and rawness in nature arouses tender emotions within me. Be it the joy in witnessing the budding of a flower or studying the staleness in trees. Everything natural is complex and yet so simple.

Of late, the complexities of all, who are worldly and wise, had been bothering me. I marveled at the thought “what I am doing here”. I wished that I could lose this crowd. I wished that I could run far away from everything as Tom does in Forrest Gump. But then again, I guess, the cosmic force has its own enigmatic ways of lifting up my spirits. The other day I saw a volunteer helping a visually impaired person through the thick maze of crowd. At that instant, all the ill thoughts vanished. I regained my lost hope. A realization dawned upon me “All is not lost yet”. Kind souls are still around, no matter how worse things turn, a kind soul shall always be there to guide me. I realized how lucky and blessed I have been to have connections with benevolent souls. Touch wood to that! My connections shall never ever let me down. Love you all and be there for me always.

With this affirmation I sign off.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Life is UNCERTAIN...NO one can escape the cycle of birth and death.

Have read these lines innumerable times yet i wasn't prepared for what was to come next.One doesn't really realize the graveness of these lines until tragedy strikes.
A part of me doesn't want to write.But then, i tell myself "You can communicate only via an invisible bridge". I believe words have that power to connect and reach out to the departed.I think i can reach out via words and feel the presence of his kind soul.

The day started off as normal.A strange thing happened today morning.I saw him in my dream today morning,hale and hearty and well on his path to recovery.I prayed to god for his speedy recovery and was completely clueless of what was to unfold today.In mid afternoon, dark clouds enveloped the sky.There's a strong association between nature and emotions of mortals and special ones i would say.Those one in thousand types, who repose your faith in good despite the widespread blanket of evil and those who are virtuous, they practice rather than preach.

Tiny droplets of rain brushed past my face.At that moment, i was unaware of the tragedy that shall black mark this day.Another thing that's bewildering is-it's his birthday day after tomorrow and he has departed exactly a month after a loved one's birthday.

Via phone, the voice at the other end said "He's no more". I couldn't believe my ears and confirmed what i had heard again. I was too stunned to react.How could he go away like that?So Soon.Such is life's irony...there's no answer to this WHY.

I don't know how I'll face others tomorrow.God give me the strength.