Saturday, July 18, 2009

Vanity v/s Guilt

My half opened eyes popped out with vigor as I shuffled through the pages of newspaper. No, it did not have to do with Obama 'ogling at the behind of a Brazilian lady' or 'The blackest day in the history of Delhi Metro'. Well, I am talking about monsoon SALE. Wow!That word evokes a sense of enthusiasm and an inclination to rush over to the store and grab the bargains.

At that very instant I envisioned a magical wooden wardrobe in my possession. The one which updates it self,with whatever apparel I imagine. Won't that be great! Just imagine it in your head and your object of fancy is there for you. Potter mania is getting to my head. I need to catch up with the latest flick else I'll go crazy for sure. All of a sudden, out of nowhere these words started playing in my head 'I used to complain about the shoes I wore, until I saw the boy with no feet'. I read these, in a heart wrenching TOI article last week and the words had left a lasting impression on me.Instantly,I was transported back to the reality. In a country like India, where half of the population is below the poverty line. How can I afford to have these materialistic thoughts? 'But then, its important to look good'. There goes Megha, that's my pet name and in a way my stubborn alter ego. In this age of first impression, you can't afford to be ill dressed. OK stop it! I left it there.

The next day, a friend invited me to accompany her on a shopping spree. I felt honored ,after all she chose to trust my style instincts. The shop she chose had updated its collection recently. We scanned the outfits with great eagerness. We zeroed on 3-4 apparels and then the friend went off to the trial room. In the mean while, I was looking around and a piece caught my fancy. It was like 'love at first sight' phenomenon. Without thinking i rushed of to the trial room. Man! The fit was superb, as if,it was just made for me. I stared gleefully at my reflection. I couldn't lay off my eyes. 'Buy it, you'll never regret' said Megha. I was like 'I don't need it for now, my wardrobe is already overstuffed. Bratty Megha exploded 'To hell with your shoe thing...Come on! You deserve to look good and then you'll feel good. Take pride in vanity!'. The practical part of me protested 'Feel good for 4-5 hours and then cope up with the pangs of guilt! No way! Don't you recollect the struggle of that lady in the article. What kind of vanity is this! Don't be so impulsive'.I changed over and kept back the outfit on a rack. The friend asked for my final opinion of her chosen outfits and then we went over to the billing counter. I turned back to take a last look at the 'devil in disguise'.'Oh! Come on, you are not a sister in a convent'. Megha took over. The next moment,I was lined up at the billing counter with that 'sweet devil' :P
Once again, vanity triumphed over guilt. Megha is right about the feel good thing but I am certain that the pleasurable phase is always short lived . I have to work upon disconnecting this bond between vanity and gratification. Perhaps, I concede, the victory over Megha is many years away.

Water color on paper, my recent art.


sobhit said...

hi nice post like alwaz.. but dis tym d paint work got me more den ur post.. who is in d picture?? is it megha wid devils horn on d head :P :P.. but d reflection in d water sure looks gud. seems ur pic is givin ur blog a picture of its own wid d 2 shades ,, wid both vanity n guilt... baki guess only d artist n a true art lover can mke out wot d picture says,, me not bein eithr wud rathr not say much... d post again confirms a great writer n intellectual thinker in process, n d art work seems 2b addin evn more 2d write ups... so dats an artist 2 boardin in wid d write n thinker.. gues wid tym v gona find more f ur hidden talents... so gr8 stuff n its amazin 2c how u can cum up wid such awesum stuff wid such ease n in no tym, guess u shud have a like button 4 ur blogs here... den easily can mark dat n it wud say all :D... chal keep on postin n ya d whole guilt think u need not bother urself.. it all gota do wid d past karmas :P u did ur karmas rite so u njoy d benefits of it... baki on ur part do ur charity.. wich dey say begins at home :P :P..

monica said...

Well, the painting was done way before the post and the horns were made at the last minute.Yes you could call her Megha :)
Don't call me an artist for now!I have a long way to go.

gymnstxlvr said...

You are SO an artist! I love it! So unique!

Anonymous said...

Very interesting post...does it always happen when you go shopping??

If yes then my god! shopping must be a tough task for you :)

monica said...

No, not always really.

Parul said...

hey.. that sure is one thought provoking post! Vanity surely wins over its counterpart in most of the cases. Trust me, it always happens with me. And I generally keep the guilt part away for that moment :P Its kind off inherent in us, i guess.
As far as the painting goes, another good from your side! :)
y did u add the horns vaise?(out of curiosity)

lazy said...

Nice post!

Rohini Prasanth said...

Ha Ha... nice post.. this happens to me all the time esp when shoes are concerned. :D So, don't feel guilty. I am sure this battle has more sufferers than you and me.

P.S - it helps if you tell urself that you deserve it. totally. and then go do some good act in compensation.. heehee..

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monica said...

OMG 10 followers already!! I am flattered :D
@ parul
The horns have a significance if you look at the picture as a whole.I meant to display a full moon night.Each one of us has a devil lurking inside us.In this full moon night, the devil inside the girl is showing up.That's what i intend to convey :)