Allah,I seek refuge from my alter ego. She bullies me, mocks my beliefs and jeers my hopes. I avow “This is not me”; “I am you dear, no running away from me. I am your present, past and future”. I conjecture she’s going to be my companion throughout my life span. So I better be on good terms with her rather than brood over her presence. It’s not that I detest her. She’s follows me everywhere, I walk she walks behind me, I stop she stops. She is here there and everywhere in my being. Indulgence is her forte. She pampers me like a queen and makes me believe that “I am special”.
However, when clocks tick tocks in darker milieus she vanishes in thin air.”O dearest form! Whither thou escapeth?” I wish to seek solace, yet she’s nowhere to be found. With a limp walk I tread on the highway of broken hopes and daunting dreams. I turn back, no traces of her. It’s a moonless night. Howling wolves send jitters down my spine. I pause for a moment and go on.
A bright sunny morning greets me. I turn, WOW! She’s back! “I am not talking to you! Where were you last night? “. She didn’t say a word. “No way! You can’t tag along with me” I exclaim. She’s silent. I give up thinking. Hours passed by and then it flashed to me. It was a moonless night, hence she wasn’t exactly visible. In fact, she was the one who gave me courage to walk on when my feet had frozen in fear. She was the light in my darkest hour.