I am nursing a bruised self esteem. Why am I not strong enough to defend her and allow a third party to batter her? Poor baby, every now and then she’s beaten black-and-blue. It’s following a recursive pattern for long. Someone says things and that very night I have this terrible dream. Sigh…I wonder if I am the only one around who’s getting these ghastly visions. I have seen discussions in forums but to this date I have never ever come across a person with a similar problem in real life.
I want her to stand out and be greener than ever even among the withered plants
She’ll be hale and hearty in a day or two but this is not the long term solution. For how long will this persist? I had a discussion with an acquaintance and he said that I am over-analyzing things. We introverts tend to think too much about what we say or hear. He’s right but dreams never lie. Merely trimming down the weeds is not a solution. They should be pulled out along with their roots. I need to nurture her in a different manner. She should be strong and resilient. And how is that to be done?
At times she tells me to run away and start afresh at a distant place. I have had a tough time in clarifying to her that this is not the way out. But she’s a stubborn baby. So, I simply stop paying heed to her tantrums. And when she sees that Mamma is upset, she gives up and complies with Mamma.
However, I am concerned about her future. Why should I allow a third party to fool her or should I say “Ch#### bana jaaye” to be more precise. I don’t want this to happen again every now and then. This is something I need to work on. I plea to the higher forces to guide me in this operation.
Flourish like this plant in the garden of intellect