R U M I N A T I O N S

Ahh…The Grand Indian Wedding season is back with a bang! Sheesh…and everyone around me is crazy about it. Crazy about being hitched as well as attending the dos. Wow! What’s with me? Am I the only psycho who gets paranoid when it comes to attending a shaadi ? It all began last weekend. I saw an invitation card that read 29th May 2010. My first thought was like “Who cares? I don’t even know the groom”. I made it clear to my folks, am not attending this one. I successfully dodged the engagement night. PROUD OF THAT :) Had fun with my buddy at home sweet home. We started planning a weekend trip to some nearby place. That ways, I wouldn’t have to bother about attending the ceremony. And luckily both of us had got a green signal from our respective folks; though with Conditions apply tag. We made our best efforts to convince parties to join us but I guess whatever is destined to happen, happens. It was written in Black letters “Monica will be attending the Shaadi”. And I was trying my best...

Wow! What a relaxing night…simply lying down, no blues to bother me. Feels divine: D Perhaps a friend’s exuberant air has infected me too and I am not complaining. A nostalgic sentiment is sprouting within me yet again. The last examination has aroused the dormant sentimental seeds . Seeds which were rendered inert by the daily hustle bustle and emotional torrents. Words dodge me…“O Evil mind! Quit playing hide and seek”. I marvel at my college days. Those “Hard on ass” wooden benches (Ouch!) can’t replace the cushioned comfort of ergonomic chairs but I am longing to sit on those benches yet again. The centrally air conditioned environs can’t pacify the ruffled feathers within. I was better off in the humid classroom. All these thoughts bring about a subtle smile on my face. Thanks to DIAS, I have a fantastic circle of friends. Each one is extraordinary in his or her own way. I feel I am a different person today, a better version of my previous self. The way all pieces of the puzzle ...

Greatest is the man who knows himself inside out. I was under the wrong impression that I knew myself pretty well until yesterday. One of my close friends threw extra luminous light on that area. Caught me at last!! Browsing my previous scribbling in this notebook (where I wrote this in ink) made me sit up and take notice of the quantum leap in my thinking factory. God! I was so good at this writing business in those days. I adore the way I connected and weaved magic into ideas and words. I used to be so connected with the soul within. WOW! Now, I wonder on which street I have lost the number to link within. On the facade everything looks well and feels great. However when I look closer beneath the lens, it’s all dark. Delving deeper like a curious kid with widened eyes I perceive vacuum and technically it is known as “NULL”. This NULL brings about a “something amiss” sentiment. I eagerly look forward to Friday evening on each day of the week and when it’s the weekend days I no longe...

Continued... “There’s something strange about today! “ I wondered. I saw a pair of house sparrows flying past a tree. They are getting extinct day by day and I could not recollect their last sight. A purplish twilight tinge was splashed across the sky in late morning, a bizarre sight. I saw a bright green pair of eyes staring at us. I was startled for a moment. A soft meow appeased my nerves. I gave him a fleeting look from the corner of my eyes. Like me, he too was savoring the nectar bliss of environs. We are so alike I observed, perhaps these similarities triggered those tender feelings and now these very similarities are eating into our alliance I marveled. “A lot has changed in the past one month, you realize that Meghna?” he said. “I do”. An awkward pause ensued. “Ok! Let me get things straight. My affection has divided, I want you to meet her once and see for yourself.Game for it?” He asked fervently. I was expecting those words but I couldn’t contain my shock. I went all blan...

I slung my bag on shoulder and held his hand with renewed warmth. Together we stepped out into a new morning, a morning that shall perhaps open a new chapter in our relationship. Damp sand was imprinted with millions of tiny rain droplets. That invigorating wet earth fragrance evoked tender emotions. Pearl like rain drops on freshly washed green leaves were shimmering in the morning sun. “What a rejuvenating morning after a dull night!” I exclaimed. He smiled his charming smile. The magic was coming alive yet again. Last night was the blackest of all. Our love had died a thousand deaths. His silence pierced a thousand holes in my heart. I was drained by his apathy and had given up on our further association. “This is it, I am walking out tomorrow” I had resolved. Walking out on those 2 years of our association was not an easy decision. I am not the kind of person who once hitched lets go easily. The force of attraction was following the curve of exponential decay. We were no longer ...

The gloss of spring born leaves caught my sight today afternoon. A gentle breeze swayed past those new adornments and produced a soft and melodious sound. A sparrow chirped and added to the notes. The giant blue sky and fluffy cottony clouds completed the scenery. I savored the beauty and tranquility of my surroundings. It was enchanting and intoxicating. Yes, I was getting high. Time just stopped by and I wanted the moment to freeze. An unusual serenity overwhelmed me. Wow! I loved that feeling. It’s not every day that you sit up and take notice of your daily environs. It is there before you, calling you out silently and you choose to look away rather than delving in the magnificence of nature. Bright and colorful flowers smiled at me. I touched the petals and sensed the smooth and velvety texture. They evoked a spirited feeling and yet they were silent. Their silence spoke volumes of our apathy. I pondered; we humans are so dependent on words. We use words to express our sentiments...

My love!! I am back. A lot has changed since my last post. I have made my entry in to the corporate jungle. And what a jungle it is! The journey began with a huge set back. A dear friend who was supposed to join with me has found another calling. This further reinforced my belief that relationships are painful indeed. I am still trying to adapt and live with the other fellows. They are nice people and now I think it’s safe to call them friends. The transition from campus to corporate is not easy and so we were made to attend a number of workshops. In one of the workshops we were asked to relate ourselves to a cartoon character and I saw myself as Alice, lost in her own wonderland. Really! I feel kind of lost somewhere. I can’t locate an anchor in this tense storm. Unable to use my wings, am drifting with the strong winds. The nightmares are back to haunt me. The other day I was so frightened that I started weeping. Are the nightmares raising their ugly heads because of my own insecurit...