R U M I N A T I O N S

Yes Obama did it! And India reveled in the pleasure. India and Obama make a fantastic pair.This relationship has finally hit a new high. Both are going around and painting the town red (read Media). For long, India has been trying hard to seduce America and outwit the charms of courtesan Pakistan. I’d like to believe America still has a soft corner for Pakistan, though these days it can’t help but be allured by the oomph of this Young, bold and brazen country. Media is going berserk with this liaison. By telecasting this affair they have got sumptuous fodder to feed the hungry common man cow. Newspapers could finally put the ink in their publishing machinery to good use. Columnists and of course bloggers like me have got intellectual matter to ponder upon and exercise those indolent creative cells in brain. Speculations of this visit by the head of the most powerful country in the world started since the day Obama took those Presidential vows. Will he or won’t he? Considering the fac...

Sweetheart I have so many things on my mind right now! Phew!! Yesterday night I was contemplating an introspective kind of post for you. But then today’s day turned out to be pretty eventful. I’d like to share a few tit bits with you. I wanted to spend my last holiday in peace at home, maybe catch up with pending reading stuff. However, fate had other plans for me…Now! I hadn’t anticipated the velocity and force of the so called plans. Here it goes... It was a long drive to my cousin’s place and the drive on a November morning was a pleasure. I believe Delhi is at its best in November and December. There was a slight nip in the air and the smog due to Diwali was persistent this morning as well. A signboard that said ‘Connect with Life’ caught my eye. “I am already connected to life, in fact, I am hooked:D “I told myself assertively. Two semi naked kids were offering marigold flowers to Ganesha and Laxmi idols on a footpath near a traffic signal. They had that naive look on their faces...

Dear blog, It’s been a long gap and why? I had no stuff to ponder upon apart from all my negativities. Great! I guess for now I am away from all that. I just don’t want to give importance to self doubts; they can wait for the time being. Let us get going with the good stuff! Wohoo! It’s been raining incessantly since morning and the sound of rain drops splattering on the roof is music to ears. Very often, this sound gets drowned in daily melancholy and we miss out on it. We are so tangled up with our non-sense chain of thoughts that we are unable to savor nature’s nectars. Freshly polished leaves glisten in the sun’s light. The mischievous mind starts racing again. Here, there and everywhere. I think our thoughts can easily surpass the speed of light, be it in air or vacuum. What an efficient factory our mind is! There are visions, impulsive cravings, positive, stable and negative notions. Cravings and visions inspire our actions. Actions in turn trigger reactions. Reactions fuel more...

Dear Blog Look at me! Waves of restlessness are creating havoc in mind’s abode, trembling hands, sleep disturbed by persistent nightmares and a void created by an asteroid called “ennui”. Ain’t I sick? No I’d like to believe. I am cool, mast and bindaas. I know I’ll somehow manage to sail through this storm and hit the shore. Everyone is doing it and I am equally capable. However, the BIG QUESTION is am I hitting the right shore? I don’t know whether it’s too late or too early to ask this question. They say everything in life happens for good and I realize that somewhere down the line I am living the kind of life that I had visualized years back. I somehow knew that I would eventually end up in this field and would be doing this kind of work. But now, at this stage, I apprehend that I don’t want to be doing this forever. This is not aligned with my current vision. N number of years later I see myself as a contended person, done with all my whims and fancies, sipping in the scenic beaut...

Allah,I seek refuge from my alter ego. She bullies me, mocks my beliefs and jeers my hopes. I avow “This is not me”; “I am you dear, no running away from me. I am your present, past and future”. I conjecture she’s going to be my companion throughout my life span. So I better be on good terms with her rather than brood over her presence. It’s not that I detest her. She’s follows me everywhere, I walk she walks behind me, I stop she stops. She is here there and everywhere in my being. Indulgence is her forte. She pampers me like a queen and makes me believe that “I am special”. However, when clocks tick tocks in darker milieus she vanishes in thin air.”O dearest form! Whither thou escapeth?” I wish to seek solace, yet she’s nowhere to be found. With a limp walk I tread on the highway of broken hopes and daunting dreams. I turn back, no traces of her. It’s a moonless night. Howling wolves send jitters down my spine. I pause for a moment and go on. A bright sunny morning greets me. I turn...

Hahahahahaha...what’s with me today? I can’t stop chuckling since morning. Hahahahhahaha...there I go again. The alcoholic monsoon season has intoxicated me. Perhaps my desire has come true :P Last to last week I had naively asked a friend to get me wings from his spiritual trip. Ain’t I crazy? How can a human being fly! Yet I wanted to and I think am flying today. Realllllyyyyyyyyy high up above…not literally yet but that’s how am feeling today. Hahahahhahahaha...am Mad! Wild and what not! And no I haven’t had Red Bull. These wings have evolved naturally. Thank you Veenu :) You fulfilled your promise. I pestered for wings like one idiotic woman that day…unbelievable! And man, today it feels as if I have got those. Blog, however weird and foolish your desires are, don’t sweep them away in a corner. I want to fly and shit on my superior’s shoulder and manager’s eyes...hahahahahahah wouldn’t that be awesome! Sheesh I don’t want to think about those two and spoil the party. Know what! Wan...

Ahh…The Grand Indian Wedding season is back with a bang! Sheesh…and everyone around me is crazy about it. Crazy about being hitched as well as attending the dos. Wow! What’s with me? Am I the only psycho who gets paranoid when it comes to attending a shaadi ? It all began last weekend. I saw an invitation card that read 29th May 2010. My first thought was like “Who cares? I don’t even know the groom”. I made it clear to my folks, am not attending this one. I successfully dodged the engagement night. PROUD OF THAT :) Had fun with my buddy at home sweet home. We started planning a weekend trip to some nearby place. That ways, I wouldn’t have to bother about attending the ceremony. And luckily both of us had got a green signal from our respective folks; though with Conditions apply tag. We made our best efforts to convince parties to join us but I guess whatever is destined to happen, happens. It was written in Black letters “Monica will be attending the Shaadi”. And I was trying my best...

Wow! What a relaxing night…simply lying down, no blues to bother me. Feels divine: D Perhaps a friend’s exuberant air has infected me too and I am not complaining. A nostalgic sentiment is sprouting within me yet again. The last examination has aroused the dormant sentimental seeds . Seeds which were rendered inert by the daily hustle bustle and emotional torrents. Words dodge me…“O Evil mind! Quit playing hide and seek”. I marvel at my college days. Those “Hard on ass” wooden benches (Ouch!) can’t replace the cushioned comfort of ergonomic chairs but I am longing to sit on those benches yet again. The centrally air conditioned environs can’t pacify the ruffled feathers within. I was better off in the humid classroom. All these thoughts bring about a subtle smile on my face. Thanks to DIAS, I have a fantastic circle of friends. Each one is extraordinary in his or her own way. I feel I am a different person today, a better version of my previous self. The way all pieces of the puzzle ...

Greatest is the man who knows himself inside out. I was under the wrong impression that I knew myself pretty well until yesterday. One of my close friends threw extra luminous light on that area. Caught me at last!! Browsing my previous scribbling in this notebook (where I wrote this in ink) made me sit up and take notice of the quantum leap in my thinking factory. God! I was so good at this writing business in those days. I adore the way I connected and weaved magic into ideas and words. I used to be so connected with the soul within. WOW! Now, I wonder on which street I have lost the number to link within. On the facade everything looks well and feels great. However when I look closer beneath the lens, it’s all dark. Delving deeper like a curious kid with widened eyes I perceive vacuum and technically it is known as “NULL”. This NULL brings about a “something amiss” sentiment. I eagerly look forward to Friday evening on each day of the week and when it’s the weekend days I no longe...

Continued... “There’s something strange about today! “ I wondered. I saw a pair of house sparrows flying past a tree. They are getting extinct day by day and I could not recollect their last sight. A purplish twilight tinge was splashed across the sky in late morning, a bizarre sight. I saw a bright green pair of eyes staring at us. I was startled for a moment. A soft meow appeased my nerves. I gave him a fleeting look from the corner of my eyes. Like me, he too was savoring the nectar bliss of environs. We are so alike I observed, perhaps these similarities triggered those tender feelings and now these very similarities are eating into our alliance I marveled. “A lot has changed in the past one month, you realize that Meghna?” he said. “I do”. An awkward pause ensued. “Ok! Let me get things straight. My affection has divided, I want you to meet her once and see for yourself.Game for it?” He asked fervently. I was expecting those words but I couldn’t contain my shock. I went all blan...

I slung my bag on shoulder and held his hand with renewed warmth. Together we stepped out into a new morning, a morning that shall perhaps open a new chapter in our relationship. Damp sand was imprinted with millions of tiny rain droplets. That invigorating wet earth fragrance evoked tender emotions. Pearl like rain drops on freshly washed green leaves were shimmering in the morning sun. “What a rejuvenating morning after a dull night!” I exclaimed. He smiled his charming smile. The magic was coming alive yet again. Last night was the blackest of all. Our love had died a thousand deaths. His silence pierced a thousand holes in my heart. I was drained by his apathy and had given up on our further association. “This is it, I am walking out tomorrow” I had resolved. Walking out on those 2 years of our association was not an easy decision. I am not the kind of person who once hitched lets go easily. The force of attraction was following the curve of exponential decay. We were no longer ...

The gloss of spring born leaves caught my sight today afternoon. A gentle breeze swayed past those new adornments and produced a soft and melodious sound. A sparrow chirped and added to the notes. The giant blue sky and fluffy cottony clouds completed the scenery. I savored the beauty and tranquility of my surroundings. It was enchanting and intoxicating. Yes, I was getting high. Time just stopped by and I wanted the moment to freeze. An unusual serenity overwhelmed me. Wow! I loved that feeling. It’s not every day that you sit up and take notice of your daily environs. It is there before you, calling you out silently and you choose to look away rather than delving in the magnificence of nature. Bright and colorful flowers smiled at me. I touched the petals and sensed the smooth and velvety texture. They evoked a spirited feeling and yet they were silent. Their silence spoke volumes of our apathy. I pondered; we humans are so dependent on words. We use words to express our sentiments...

My love!! I am back. A lot has changed since my last post. I have made my entry in to the corporate jungle. And what a jungle it is! The journey began with a huge set back. A dear friend who was supposed to join with me has found another calling. This further reinforced my belief that relationships are painful indeed. I am still trying to adapt and live with the other fellows. They are nice people and now I think it’s safe to call them friends. The transition from campus to corporate is not easy and so we were made to attend a number of workshops. In one of the workshops we were asked to relate ourselves to a cartoon character and I saw myself as Alice, lost in her own wonderland. Really! I feel kind of lost somewhere. I can’t locate an anchor in this tense storm. Unable to use my wings, am drifting with the strong winds. The nightmares are back to haunt me. The other day I was so frightened that I started weeping. Are the nightmares raising their ugly heads because of my own insecurit...

I have been out of touch with self for long. Haphazard thoughts have been strolling in my mind but I couldn’t draw anything tangible from those or perhaps I didn’t put in much effort. I don’t feel stable and grounded any more. Whenever I try to catch those thoughts, they take to the air. It seems my creative and mental faculties are going astray. Enough of me. I intended to reminisce about my first love and look at the coincidence, the very same notebook in which I jotted down these points had extracts from those days. Physics was my first serious love. I was enamored by the Classical laws and theories. The affection started sprouting eight years back. But then, I also fancied Mr. Biology and Ms. Geography. Yes divided affection! Finally I picked one and embraced Ms. Physics with open arms. Like every other relationship, I had my share of testing times as well. Alien concepts like Differentiation, Integration, Dimensions and harmonic frequencies intimidated me. At the same time I was ...

कुछ कहना चाहती थी मगर लफ्ज़ ज़हन में ही कैद रह गए तुम्हारी ख़ुशी और गम्म का रस लेना चाहती थी किन्तु रस भोगने के लिए अपने आइने समान ह्रदय के टुकड़े समेट ना सकी उस गुपत्गु में दिल्ले बय्याँ करना चाहती थी मगर तुम्हारी आँखों के नूर पर परछाई नहीं देख पाती  उन कमज़ोर लम्हों में एक सहारे की तालाश थी लेकिन जिसे हम सहारा समझ बैठे वो एक परछाई निकली चित के प्रेत दिल और दिमाग पर हावी होने लगे ख्वाब और नींद भी साथ छोड़ गए अपने अक्स से नफरत सी होनी लगी थी खोखली ही सही, मगर तुम्हरी हंसी में हम भी हँसे तुम्हारे क़दमों से कदम मिला न सके काश तुमने एक बार मुड के देखा होता तुम ना सही तुम्हारे साए से ही हम बतिया लिया करते थे        Image sourced from deviantART    A conversation in the dead of night with a friend inspired this poem.                                   ...