R U M I N A T I O N S

He woke up with a renewed vigor that morning. After all, that was the last morning of 2009. The New Year virus had infected him as well. Initially, he was cynical about all this hoopla until the previous night. A phone call changed it all. His best friend had somehow convinced him to turn up at an upscale and supposedly “the most happening place to be at on New Year’s Eve”. “But you despised parties” claimed a voice inside him. He gazed at his mirror reflection. “Let me test the waters and take a dip just this once! After all I am just 25”. “You are gonna regret this man”. “What will I wear? A Stubble or a neat look? Stubble should go well with my look". He perceived an unusual spring in his steps that day. Change is always refreshing and there’s no harm in giving it a chance just one last time. Hours ticked away and it was twilight. “You look dashing!” he smiled at himself. “This night shall rein in a new change”. He could sense the revelry in the twilight wind. The sky had a...

I have a confession to make. I didn't really expect anyone to read my last post. I just wrote it for the sake of it. Moreover, i feel that writing in a way unburdens my soul. Alas, a friend and a guest read it. And i am somewhat embarrassed.Fingers crossed this time! GOD! Last night was worse than the previous one! I am still shaken to the core. Strange and weird i must say. I was not feeling good. I had this uneasy and breathlessness feeling. Was it due to excessive carbohydrates in dinner? Or perhaps a psychological issue? Moreover,i caught up with "A Haunting" on Discovery before hitting the sack. Signed in to Gtalk to clarify an issue and went to bed. In the middle of night i regained my consciousness from beta state. I was shivering intensely in my blanket. I was perplexed. Why was this happening? I don't feel that cold usually.The intensity increased as i became more aware of it. My body started aching due to tremors. My mind was like "You are gonna die...

Last night too I had this recurring dream of falling teeth accompanied by bleeding gums and intense pain. Ghastly isn’t it! I woke up with a gloomy sentiment today. I remember reading somewhere that dreams communicate and we have to decipher their meaning. May be I need to visit a dentist or is it something deeper? I Googled ‘recurring dream of falling teeth’ and the results confirmed my intuition.There are several interpretations to it. I choose one that holds good for me. I am nursing a bruised self esteem. Why am I not strong enough to defend her and allow a third party to batter her? Poor baby, every now and then she’s beaten black-and-blue. It’s following a recursive pattern for long. Someone says things and that very night I have this terrible dream. Sigh…I wonder if I am the only one around who’s getting these ghastly visions. I have seen discussions in forums but to this date I have never ever come across a person with a similar problem in real life. I want her to stand o...

Chirping birds are flying to their abodes. My HMT watch reads 17:50. Bitto Chholevaala is gathering his belongings. His job is done for the day. “Lucky chap” I thought to myself. Now he’ll get to spend time with his children. My day or rather night is about to begin. Our band is booked for the next 15 days. At days we have to do double shifts as well. There are no auspicious dates after 14 December this year. It seems as if the entire city wants to marry in these 11 days. No regrets however. I am toiling hard for my family. I want to gift a good lifestyle to my children. I want them to be rich and drive around in big cars. Inshallah , they’ll touch the stars one day. We were told to assemble near the Pepal tree on main road. Most of the band members have arrived. I am 20 minutes late. The tempo carrying the equipments is parked in the corner. I go there and collect my set from the stack of neatly folded starchy white uniforms kept aside a drum. Using handkerchief I sweep off dust fro...

Pleas for compassion are being disregarded Efforts to make them see the light of wisdom are turning futile How tight is this blindfold of malice desires? O Candles! I wish thy luminance tears through the darkened corners of hearts O Sparklers! Get rid of cobwebs in deserted cabinets of mind Festive spirits, I pray thee, illumine the velvety night in our intellects Brush past the atoms of ignorance to reveal the golden sheath of acumen PS-Few random lines jotted down to unburden and to ascertain my hope in “Goodness shall prevail” Wishing you all a very joyous Diwali. Have a great time!

Innocent... or Guilty? I have this fascination for judges, advocates and courtrooms.There's something about them which evokes my inner chords. How i wish i were a lawyer...sigh! Anyhow, whatever happens happens for good. So, personally this tag is kind of special for me because i get to be a judge for a change:D Rohini at Train of thought tagged me. I am omitting rule 4 in my post. RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent. RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks! RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag to your friends to answer this. Asked someone to marry you? Innocent. Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Innocent. Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent. Ever told a lie? Guilty. Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty. Kissed a picture? Guilty. Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent. Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty. Held a snake? Innocent. Been suspended from school?...

I bet this is gonna be real fun. It is called Dumb dumber Dumbest QUIZ. I know for sure my number shall hover around an 80 or 90 and that would be a giant leap from the academics percentage :P Here's the quiz [ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking [ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking [x] You have ran into a glass/screen door [x] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle [x] You have thought of something funny while walking by yourself [x] Laughed, then watched people give you weird looks OK 4 for now [x] You have run into a tree/bush. [x] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow [x] You have tried to lick your elbow… a few times [x] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little star have the same rhythm. [x] You just tried to sing them. 9 Already!! [x] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen. [ ] You have choked on your own spit . [x] You have seen the Matrix and still don’t get it. [ ] You’ve never seen the Matr...

Ughh…my head feels so heavy. As I gain awareness of my sense of being, an impounding pain up above perturbs me. My eyelids feel heavier, burdened by that something. With sluggish steps I walk over to Chintamani’s dhabba and ask for my regular cuppa. I rake in the aroma and warmth of steamy kadak chai . The warmth of vapors pacifies that pain and invigorates my senses. First sip feels magical and does wonders to my aging body. I feel like an old fort, a fort whose beauty has been augmented by morning rays of sun. I savor the warmth and sweetness of my beverage. A gratifying sensation cloaks me, I feel perky and equipped to take on the world. The city is gradually stirring to life out of deep slumber; a new day and new beginnings. My day starts with a renewed hope. A desire, to be noticed from my shadowy existence and a hunger for my passion’s acknowledgment. Yes, I do yearn for those generous smiles which exude compassion and life. I pine for a loving and respectful gesture. They r...

That was the first word in my mind when i saw my name in the lucky five list. At this point, i am out of words to express what i am going through.And awarded by Rohini at Train of thought . With each post of hers it seems as if i am getting to discover a new dimension of life. There are people out there, may be miles and miles away, yet no barriers can prevent one from sharing the opinions and getting in touch with 'frighteningly' like minded people. Yes, at times the similarity seems spooky. I found a strange law while surfing 'Law of similarity'. It states that ...parts of a stimulus field that are similar to each other tend to be perceived as belonging together as a unit This further reinforces my belief in soul mates.Amazing,the fog is gradually giving way to sunlight.Getting down to the rules * Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends. * Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the b...

This tag came as a respite from the mundane activities in my life. Rohini at Train of thought has tagged me. She says that my words are sheer poetry. She is always generous in complimenting fellow bloggers and a wonderful human being. Rohini, I think am in the evolution stage and have a long way to go. Let’s get down with the eight+1 tag thing. 8+1 favorite dishes I love to eat- I love my share of Pizzas, shakes, breads, fries etc. However, when it comes to favorites, am a pure desi at heart and only the indigenous fare is close to my heart. 1. Kaddi Rice - My all time favorite, am always game for this north Indian preparation. 2. Makki di roti and Sarsoon da saag - The Punjabi blood in my veins never seems to get over the cravings of the all time favorite dish of Punjab. 3. Aloo Puri - Crispy pooris coupled with spicy aloo in gravy…am salivating :P 4. Methi ke Paraanthe - Methi paraanthes topped with melting butter are the best part of winters. 5. Sujji ka Halwa – Am always game fo...

My horoscope of the day read “You need to release the creativity bottled up inside you dear Capricorn”. I am taken aback by the precision of these predictions at times. How did they get to know that? But then, not all questions have answers, Isn’t it! I have been away from my passion for too long. Yeah, writing is a passion and a way for me to release the bottled up complexities and seek clarity. All this while, arbitrary “WHY’s” have been playing hide and seek with my intellect. I had to let go else I knew I would go BONKERS. There’s something magical about the weather today. A mysterious force sprouts the temptation within me to pick up the pen and make notes. To hell with the college assignments! It was hard to resist that, especially when the brain was overstuffed. I looked up at the infinite sky. Fluffy cotton like white cloud is swaying past a dense blue layer beneath. Moments later a new picture emerges gradually. I try and capture few pictures. You might be wondering that I am...

Life is UNCERTAIN...NO one can escape the cycle of birth and death. Have read these lines innumerable times yet i wasn't prepared for what was to come next.One doesn't really realize the graveness of these lines until tragedy strikes. A part of me doesn't want to write.But then, i tell myself "You can communicate only via an invisible bridge". I believe words have that power to connect and reach out to the departed.I think i can reach out via words and feel the presence of his kind soul. The day started off as normal.A strange thing happened today morning.I saw him in my dream today morning,hale and hearty and well on his path to recovery.I prayed to god for his speedy recovery and was completely clueless of what was to unfold today.In mid afternoon, dark clouds enveloped the sky.There's a strong association between nature and emotions of mortals and special ones i would say.Those one in thousand types, who repose your faith in good despite the widespread blan...

Doesn't that look like a unicorn in the sky with its head down? It proved lucky for me because that very night an astonishing thing happened.Read further. O No! Not again. Third time in this month! Can't make out why people want me to open up those dusty cabinets in my intellect and bring forth abandoned artifacts (made any sense? forget it!). Though I'll have to confess, I am feeling like a celebrity...glee. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief when I saw myself tagged by the Goddess of Bloggers Extranjera .Isn't that amazing! Fifth post for this month! Looks like I’ll be breaking my own record. On second thoughts I wonder who the hell cares and wants to know this much about me. But then I reckon, this time it's by Extranjera. Extranjera! This is just for you :) By the way, me living in a barrel with the internet connection is an intriguing suggestion: P Let’s get started. The idea is, to list five items in each category and not necessarily in order of liking. You can al...

Here comes the rain, a welcome respite from the monotonous and humid weather. The way weather plays with our emotions never ceases to amaze me. Few minutes ago,I was in a complaining mode and was eating into a friend’s head. Later, I stepped out to experience the tiny droplets in my hands. I feel short of words to express that joy. All my mental blabbering flew away with the monsoon breeze and I am smiling again. The sound and silence of rain make me ponder. Why not take advantage of the moment! I logged into blogger and got the words flowing. Sound of breeze whistling past the leaves and the sound of collective droplets create an enchanting rhythm. Now, you must be wondering where silence comes into picture.I am talking about silence within. Whenever it rains, an unusual silent aura pervades my mind. It goes blank. A serene sensation fills me up and I delve into the glory of silent pleasure. Sound and silence are poles apart and yet they merge smoothly. Sound could be silent and yet s...

The kasabiangirl has tagged me.Though i must confess,being an introverted and private kind of person I am not very keen on answering such kind of stuff.However i will try to be honest with answers here. The rules: * Link the person who tagged you. * Post these rules on your blog. * Share your ABCs.. * Tag 3 people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. * Let the 3 tagged people know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website. * Do not tag the same person repeatedly but try to tag different people, so that there is a big network of bloggers doing this tag! The ABC of me...all that there is about me :p A – Available/Single? Available B – Best friend? To be frank, don't believe in that term any more. Have close friends rather than best friends.They are- Ruchika, Parul, Veenu, Shobit and Vikas...that's all C – Cake or Pie? Cake D – Drink of choice? Pineapple or apple juice. E – Essential item you use every day? My specs F – Favorite colour? It kee...

My half opened eyes popped out with vigor as I shuffled through the pages of newspaper. No, it did not have to do with Obama 'ogling at the behind of a Brazilian lady' or 'The blackest day in the history of Delhi Metro'. Well, I am talking about monsoon SALE. Wow!That word evokes a sense of enthusiasm and an inclination to rush over to the store and grab the bargains. At that very instant I envisioned a magical wooden wardrobe in my possession. The one which updates it self,with whatever apparel I imagine. Won't that be great! Just imagine it in your head and your object of fancy is there for you. Potter mania is getting to my head. I need to catch up with the latest flick else I'll go crazy for sure. All of a sudden, out of nowhere these words started playing in my head ' I used to complain about the shoes I wore, until I saw the boy with no feet '. I read these, in a heart wrenching TOI article last week and the words had left a lasting impression on...

YAY! It's an exhilarating feeling. Oil on canvas...Really! It was an impulsive act.Out of the blue i get this desire to work on a canvas rather than my sketch book(For a Change!).A trip to the nearby stationery and moments later i have all the artistic stuff staring at me.NOW! paint what? I am not really good at sketching. I wanted to play with colors and may be create a texture. What will I draw? I was plagued with this thought. It had to be simplistic. Though i would have had loved to give the detailing(Alas! My poor drawing skills :( ). I Googled "painting ideas for beginners". Nothing really caught my fancy at the first sight itself. I was in a haze. At the back of my mind i knew that the idea shall strike like a lightening bolt at any instant. The key was to be patient.Then, one day i stumbled upon a picture of Meditating Buddha while browsing.It caught my fancy.The sculptures and pictures of Meditating Buddha have always had a profound influence on me.The closed...

Mama It has been a long time uhmm…more than three months I think. I vividly recall,we met last on 27 December at a house warming. All of you invited us for a stay and both us were acting pricey…hehe. Actually we deferred our visit due to Tanu’s internal exams and you very well know how much freaked up she is in exam time. I think now you are acting pricey…Duh. Come’ on now! All of us here are waiting with baited breath for your discharge from hospital and quick recovery. Hospitals are like your second home nowadays.I reflect you’ve had enough of them and I am sincerely hoping that this is your last stay of all (with crossed fingers). You know what, Papa says that it’s a tough fight but I know from inside that you’ll emerge as a winner.At this instant,I wish Papa didn’t have any medical understanding, all the things he says don’t sound good to me and I try and not pay attention to his words. I am focusing on The Secret techniques- visualizing and all that stuff. Mami and Anisha are doin...

“Agar ladkey kutty hain ,toh unhe banane wali bhi yeh ladkiyan hain” Do you agree? I don’t and I am writing this post so as to present my arguments against this notion. First thought- The above statement adds another feather to a man’s traits and that is “passing the buck”. I don’t want this to be another Male v/s Female thing but can’t help it. I must confess I have always loved male bashing and for me nothing can beat the sight of a guy getting a beating from his girlfriend(haven’t seen such thing for ages Sigh!). Coming back to the point, is it our fault that we are pretty? That’s how we were meant to be, Isn’t it! If our beauty brings alive the canine in you then we are not to be blamed. Although we are not ‘ Dhud ki dhuli ’and neither are you. We do occasionally indulge in ‘Harmless Flirting’ but we do it in a very uhmm shall I say a ‘Clean Way’. I remember spending long hours in the college canteen lawns and checking out hot guys (those were the days!) .However, we don’t give t...

'Wuthering Heights' in today's newspaper caught my eye. I loved the classic by Bronte. Since I am more or less idle now days,I made up my mind to write on a related topic. From there,this phrase 'Withering Highs' hit me. The word 'High' reminds me of alcohol and drugs. I am not really sure of the feeling associated with 'being on a high' but I'll try my best to pen down that sensation:P With the first sip,you revel in the taste (or turn up your nose in disgust if you are a first timer) of your drink. A sense of relaxation is evoked as you take in more sips. All your inhibitions start melting away. You start talking more and your laugh sounds heartier than before. Though you yourself are not conscious of these changes. Couple of sips later(again that varies from person to person), this blissful and ecstatic feeling amplifies. You are the happiest person and the entire world is in your feet(reverse 'Devdas' effect is also a possibility, I w...

I don't know why I find myself drawn to writing dark and gloomy stuff on this page. There are lots of topics waiting in the corner but when I sit down to write I just can't resist the urge to express the obscure side of me. May be its because this is the only place where I can articulate these kind of thoughts. You can easily share your happiness with others but when it comes to something gloomy then perhaps solitude is your best friend. In the shade of solitude you can contemplate and console your self from the harsh realities. Living life is like savoring a bunch of black grapes. All the grapes look alike and you can't really differentiate between overripe,soft and the normal ones(though the overripe seeds are perfect for wine and raisins). The only way to do that is to pop one in your mouth and either relish the juicy,tender seed or chew the other one in disgust. Lucky ones are blessed with mostly juicy and succulent grapes in their bunch. Some get a balanced deal and th...

As they say 'An empty mind is a devil's workshop' and I'm no different.I jotted down few random and bizarre opinions of mine. My take on profanities Sonofabitch, Motherfucking, our very own B.C. , Ch. ,#@%^…Etc.( my vocabulary is limited :(, I never think beyond ‘kutte’and ‘ghaade’)What’s the similarity in all these swear words? All of them target females related to the recipient.Lately I have observed that these words are being used more as punctuation marks rather than as profanities. The male ego or psyche gets a boost when these words are used, moreover, when one is in the company of peers. I think,a sense of pride and achievement is felt.However, when one is actually cursing somebody I fail to understand that how in the world can you say ‘have sex with your mother or sister or whatever’ for a mistake of his. I don’t know whether people actually realize what they are saying while using these words. But, logically,how come ‘go fuck your mother or sister’ comes into ...

My phone beeped to announce the arrival of a text message that read “Rose for a rose...Happy Rose day”.For a moment I was perplexed and then it occurred to me that the countdown for the big day(read V-day) has finally begun. Its like the most awaited day by college goers(even school kids) to express,confess or celebrate their so-called LOVE. Tomorrow there shall be some other day may be a chocolate day or a teddy day, who knows! I typed in the reply “An SMS can never substitute the texture and scent of a rose...anyhow Happy Rose day to you as well”. What a lame reply that was but I couldn't think of anything worse than this then :p Have I ever received a 'real rose' on this day?Oh yeah I did! And that was probably two years ago and Hey I met that chap recently on my visit to college. It was nice to catch up with an old friend after a long hiatus. Emotions are like wild horses and rather than taming them its better to let them loose. Of late I have been pondering over the ph...

What a gloomy day! In the morning, lying in my bed I could sense that something is not right about TODAY.As usual I dismissed it as a figment of my imagination. I read the news of gang rape of a MBA girl in Noida. What goes in the minds of these rapists? Why do these men think that they have the liberty over any woman they want and what makes others jump into the act, don’t they have an independent mind of their own? Day by day, the city and NCR is becoming unsafe for women. Few minutes later I saw the news of Satyam balance sheet scam on CNBC. My God! I could never imagine such a thing from one of the top IT companies of India. The anger was apparent in Udyan Mukherjee’s voice; I have never seen him talk like that before. He is always calm and composed and I admire him for that composure. I don’t know why he lost it today. Coming back to Satyam, Mr. Raju what made you think that you’ll be able to get away safely after such kind of manipulations in the balance sheet? Earlier it was Ma...